


Follow That Red Thread Home

by liestotheheart (liesunheardof)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2018-09-17 09:37:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9316889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesunheardof/pseuds/liestotheheart
Summary: They made a promise on blood to always find each other. Joshua broke the tie after so many lifetimes of Jeonghan being with someone else. But as Fate said, "He can come after you. Instinct may lead him to you no matter if you severed your side of the tie."Jeonghan doesn't know why he's so interested in a professor who teaches magical history and theory, not when he teaches science for crying out loud. But he can't help but want to know more.





	1. The Beginning and the Severance

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prologue. For a chaptered fic when I have lots to finish still. But this will get started after I finish caution mother and sweet things come to those who wait. I couldn't help this though. It was eating at me for the past few days.
> 
> other ships to be added when i actually put more thought into this

“For all eternity?” He asked with a smile on his face, hand out stretched for Jeonghan to hold.

Intertwining their fingers, Jeonghan nodded. “Forever and ever. Death will not part us.”

Joshua watched, a bit mesmerized by the blood that spilled from their hands to the bowl, splashing over the rings.

Looking up Jeonghan flashed him a smile as they felt the tell tale hum of magic. A flash spread through the room and then it dissipated. Left in the bowl were the rings; they were lined with a thin red line, no doubt made by their combined blood.

Jeonghan picked Joshua’s up, holding it a loft to read the inscription. “Shall the red thread lead you home.” He took Joshua’s left hand and slipped it on, giving it a kiss.

Joshua took Jeonghan’s ring and slid in Jeonghan’s ring finger, holding onto his hand tightly. He leaned over to kiss him.

“I’ll make sure to always find my way back to you,” he said with a cheesy grin.

Laughing Joshua released his hand. “And I you.”

* * *

Abruptly Joshua woke up, his hand feeling around his neck for a ring that no longer hung there. He let out a shaky breath as he moved, the blankets rustling. Breathing deeply, he ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. After all these lifetimes of breaking his end of the promise, Joshua still dreamt of it. Had nightmares of it more like.

He wrapped his arm around his legs. Wasn’t it enough to feel the pain of finding him over and over again in each and every lifetime only to not have him? Joshua, if he was lucky, had Jeonghan in half of them, the other half of the time Jeonghan had chosen other people that weren’t Joshua.

It was a similar cycle each and every time. Jeonghan fell in love with someone else; Joshua would be at the sidelines watching, having met him too late or nothing would change Jeonghan’s mind. And then there were the times Jeonghan went along with other people’s wishes, like his parents’ ideas of a good partner. Or other times Jeonghan decided that someone needed him more than Joshua did, leaving Joshua with nothing but a broken heart and a promise made upon blood to find each other once again in another lifetime.

Joshua confessed his love some lifetimes if he thought he was sure Jeonghan would say yes back. But confess or not Joshua couldn’t say one hundred percent of the time that Jeonghan agreed and they’d be together once again. No. It was hit and miss. Like shooting a target half blind and hoping you’d shoot true.

If everything went well then it ended like it had in the beginning; the two of them together. But he wasn’t always successful. Joshua tired of being second choice, if he ever had the luck to be. He tired of being left behind, promise or not. They found their way back to each other. But if he were being truthful; Joshua went looking for Jeonghan not the other way around. Joshua chased that red thread back to home, but home. Home didn’t want him, no matter the form he had.

And what was worse was that only he seemed to remember the flashes of lifetimes before. The promise broken. The promise fulfilled. The beginning of the promise.

He stopped chasing. He after one too many lifetimes of a broken promise made another deal on blood. Only his this time.

* * *

Joshua ripped the ring from his neck, hard enough for it to bleed a bit. As the blood touch the ring he dropped it in his makeshift magic circle, once again invoking the same magic that had bonded their threads together.

“So, you come to me again. The lovers who wanted to be fated. Where is your love now?” They seemed to be laughing at Joshua, at his pain.

“Not mine. Not this lifetime.” Joshua yelled, “Not in so many lifetimes! We made the promise to be together only it seems to be worthless!” He took a shuddering breath, “I know you can’t undo it all. But you can undo a part of the promise. You can break the thread on my side.”

They laughed at him, this time out loud. The robed arm came up, palm facing upward. “What do you have to offer this time? You offered your heart and your memories, handing them over to me so you would remember forever. What do you have to offer now?”

Joshua felt his heart drop. No wonder he remembered everything. Almost everything. He had been the one to take the role of forever remembering. They had said that things might go awry but they would always find each other, as long as one remembered. And Joshua had been the one to agree to remember. What good did it do him now?

“What can I offer to you?” Joshua had magical talent but as the times went on and magic died out, gone underground, extinct almost with the technology. What use was it now?

They smirked. Even if Joshua couldn’t make it out clearly, he heard it in their voice. “You’re a mageling. Magic is dying. Keep it alive. In each lifetime keep it alive. Teach it. Spread it. Find others like you. If magic dies so we. The old, the fae, the otherworldly beings. That is my price.”

“And how will you know if I’m keeping it alive?”

They looked at him. “A binding. As the promise from before was binding, so this one would be too.”

Joshua picked up the ring, gripping it hard enough for it to dig into his skin. He held it up, dropping it on their hand. “So, let it be sworn.”

They smiled. “Cutting the thread on your end means you will no longer feel the pull to find him. And you no longer will know where he is. It means nothing on his end. He can still come find you.”

Joshua started to laugh. “He has never come to find me. He won’t bother. Jeonghan doesn’t feel the ache I do. He doesn’t see the dreams, the nightmares. He knows nothing. It won’t matter. I agree. Cut it.”

“The dreams and memories will not go away. There simply won’t be any new ones. But an offer is an offer.”

Joshua fell to his knees as he felt that tie around his heart snap. Gasping he looked up at them.

Smiling they said, “And it is done. The tie is severed. Shall he look it will be blurred. But pure instinct may lead him to you once again as it has done before this all.”

He shook his head. “Enough with the warnings. I’m an old man now. The next several lifetimes will be freeing.”

“But warn you I must. Severing it on your end doesn’t mean he can’t find you. If he tried hard enough he would.” They gave him a benevolent smile. “I’m simply being nice by giving you my warnings. A bond like this even if cut won’t mean it will die Joshua Hong.”

“It’s as good as dead.”

“So, you say. Good luck on the next lifetimes. I look forward to seeing magic again.” They disappeared.

Joshua fell onto the floor once again. Old age was getting to him. By the feel of things, he’d be dead soon. He gasped.

“Grandpa! Oh my god! Grandpa! Michael! Call 911! Grandpa’s having a heart attack!”

Joshua chuckled. Soon he’d be able to start anew. No more waiting on Jeonghan. No more heartbreak. No more postponing his life for someone who didn’t want him. A promise broken. Finally.


	2. Anthro 170: Magic, Religion, and Witchcraft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Magic, Religion, and Witchcraft is a legit class. I took it in college. it was labeled as anthropology. I loved that class

Joshua startled as his alarm went off. Why he was reminiscing about the how he broke the promise he didn’t know. It had been several lifetimes since then. And in each lifetime since then Jeonghan had not once come to find him. Just as he had told Fate.

He needed to get ready for work. He had classes to teach to little first years and those who sought out fun but weird classes, about Magical Theory and History, of the anthropological variety. It’s not like most of them even knew it was real.

Those students he taught later on in the afternoon or during the night depending on the nature of the day’s topic. Some spells were finicky as were certain potions. Overall Joshua taught them how to harness the energy within. None of them had enough magical talent for large spells anyhow, which was sort of a pity but not surprising.

His older students had magic in middling amounts. Big enough for doing everyday spells should they desire but not anywhere near big for flashier spells. Not without the aid of another magic user.

Getting up he sighed. Maybe he’d get some fresh blood in this year. Different talents.

Shuffling into the bathroom, he repressed another sigh at the sight of bloodshot eyes. Joshua would have to brew a sleep potion, one that held the dreams back.

He started washing his face. As he cleaned the cleanser off he murmured a hello to his cat and recently acquired familiar. Well recent in the last few lifetimes. “Good morning Niko. How was your night?”

He yawned, opening his cat jaws wide. “Wonderful. Full of mice and souls to eat.”

Joshua spit out the mouthful of toothpaste. “Keep dreaming of souls then Niko. You know I don’t feed you actual ones.”

The cat lashed out his tail. Arching his back to stretch, Niko let out a sigh. “I know. So mean of you master. To not feed your demon cat familiar souls.”

Joshua rinsed out his mouth. “Don’t pout Niko. It’s not cute. And you were lucky I took you in after I found you nearly dead in that alley way eons ago.”

Niko wound his body around Joshua’s ankles. “But then shouldn’t you be nicer to me. You saved me from near death. Just one little taste Shua.”

Joshua moved around Niko, getting into the shower. “I would but what souls have I come into contact with Niko,” he deadpanned. “None.” Turning on the shower head he said, “It’s not like we actively go out and attack other monsters for souls. I teach regular mundane magic. Not battle magic.”

Niko meowed. “Such a pity. The times truly have changed.”

Humming in the shower Joshua washed his hair, tuning Niko out. The demon cat would get in a small tizzy once a month on how he’d never had the chance to eat souls anymore. But considering their lifestyle it was obvious why Niko couldn’t.

Taking the towel on the rack he dried himself off, making sure to not accidentally step on Niko. The first lifetime he had picked up the demon cat Joshua would forget and step on his tail more often than not. It resulted in scratches and yowls and pitiful big watery cat eyes.

“I need to go to work now Niko. I’ll see you at the magic classes in a few hours ok?” Joshua said as he dressed and towel dried his hair.

Niko nodded. “Of course Shua. I’ll be sleeping on the desk waiting for all the magelings to come in. I’ll even greet them with my lovely eyes.”

Joshua chuckled, grabbing his bag before giving Niko a few head rubs. “Don’t scare the new students with your eyes ok?”

“Not making any promises,” he said, rubbing his head into Joshua’s hand.

“Bye Niko,” Joshua said, leaving the cat on the bed. “Be good.”

He nodded. “Promise,” he said with a sly smile.

Joshua shook his head as he put on his shoes, locking the door to the house. Niko was a sly familiar. It reminded him of someone. Someone who shouldn’t have even been in his mind, except that stupid dream. He gave himself a little slap. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of the past. It was done and over. Joshua could live his life without the pull for Jeonghan. No more.

* * *

Joshua walked into class, a bright smile on his face. He settled his bag on the table and started setting up. Taking his laptop out he started plugging it into the system and turning on the projector.

“Good morning Professor Hong,” Wonwoo said. “It’s nice to be working with you again.”

“Ah Wonwoo. You’re TAing for my morning class this quarter?”

He nodded. “And Jun is taking over for your afternoon classes. Since he has more talent there.”

Joshua smiled. “I see. Last quarter was a bit tough on you.”

Wonwoo gave him a faint smile in return. “A good experience though. What can I do now?”

Giving Wonwoo a stack of papers Joshua said, “Place stacks of the syllabus on the ends. Have some in your hand in case it doesn’t get all the way around later when students sit down.”

Wonwoo gave him a salute.

Joshua up at front slowly clicked open the introductory powerpoint and made sure his clicker and pointer worked. Nodding in satisfaction he sat down and waited for class to start.

Slowly the students trickled in, gazing at him with curious eyes. Looking at Wonwoo with wide eyes, the girls and boys alike. Joshua chuckled. Same as usual. They’d be crushed when they found out he was taken by a leggy Chinese student that went by the name of Jun and loved to hang all over his boyfriend.

The clock hit ten o’ clock. Joshua stood up, grabbed his microphone attaching it to his shirt. “Good morning class. This is Anthro 170: Magic, Religion, and Witchcraft. If this is the wrong class please exit quietly. If you need some help finding the right one, my TA, Wonwoo,” Joshua pointed to Wonwoo who stood at the top of the sweeping lecture room, “can help you. If you’re at the right place welcome. Please take a syllabus. Those at the end of the rows take one and pass it down. When you get to the end please pass it behind you. And so on and so forth. If you run out raise your hand and Wonwoo can hand you some more.”

Joshua smiled at all of the students. “Let’s have a fun quarter.”

* * *

He smiled as the students trickled out of the lecture hall. Joshua took the questions about adding the class and other minor administrative questions. Those students too left. Wonwoo clambered out of his seat and walked up to help Joshua put things away.

“Lunch or going back to your office sir?”

Joshua shook his head. “To get Niko something special. He’s been whining all year about it. I found one for him. Then I’m getting a snack before my afternoon classes.” He gave Wonwoo his crinkled eyed smile, “I expect you to see you at my afternoon classes tomorrow?”

“Of course sir. Jun would shave me if I wasn’t. Not to mention I think I have something to use for the project this year.”

“Hmmm,” Joshua said nodding. “That’s good. Hopefully the new blood will be easier to teach than you lot are.”

Wonwoo let out a deep chuckle. “We know you love us sir.”

Joshua wrinkled his nose at him. “Only because you guys were so cute and unsure your first year. Now you’re all uppity. Where did the confidence come from?”

“You taught us to be sure of ourselves,” Wonwoo replied holding out Joshua’s bag.

Taking it Joshua shook his head. “What a mistake on my part.”

“I’ll see you at 2 o’ clock sir.” Wonwoo gave a shallow bow and left.

Joshua clucked his tongue, before he too left the lecture hall. As he walked down the hall he heard a voice.

“Didn’t you hear? The school hired someone new for the Biological Sciences Department.”

“No I didn’t. Why?”

“Professor Jones took maternity leave. She found out she was pregnant. The new guy is only temporary. Although I heard that they might take him on if he proves to be good enough.”

“Ah. Lucky bastard. Some of us had to jump through lots of hoops to get here.”

Joshua shook his head as the voices died down. The Biological Science department had nothing to do with him and his courses. His were housed under a special area of the school. The more secretive part. Magic had deep roots after all.

* * *

“You ready for you first day teaching here?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “Yea. But somehow, I’m feeling antsy. Like something is pulling at me.”

“Nerves,” Seungcheol responded. “You’re lucky I heard about the opening and talked to some of my friends in the department.”

Jeonghan nodded. “Thanks for that.” He shook his head, “It’s not nerves though. I just feel this weird pull. Something’s tugging at me.”

“Yea well don’t let it mess you up. My reputation will take a hit if you mess up. I talked a good talk for you.”

Jeonghan slapped him on the back. “I know. Thanks best friend.” He raised a brow, “Don’t you have somewhere to be? A date?”

He looked at his phone. “Shit! Jihoon will kill me if I’m going to make him late for his next class. I’ll see you later for lunch!” He shot down the paved road, weaving in and out of students and faculty alike.

Shaking his head, Jeonghan sighed. He looked up at the imposing building that held his first lecture of the day, Intro into Biology. Fun stuff. He ignored the tugging feeling as he walked in.

* * *

Joshua walked by the Biology department main building. He’d have to hustle if he wanted to make his meeting for what he was getting Niko.

If he had looked to the side, he might’ve noticed a familiar figure. One that he managed to avoid for several life cycles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'll be updating I'll be yours if you'll be mine or matchmaker soon. not sure which one yet


	3. Magic 101

“You’re late,” a voice rang out as Joshua pushed the door inwards, the bell door ringing.

Joshua snorted. “I’m right on time. And it’s not like you can sell that to anyone else.”

The guy turned, snorting back at Joshua. “A soul is a hot commodity Joshua. Who says I couldn’t?”

Smirking Joshua walked the rest of the way to the counter. He put his hand down, getting up into the tall man’s face, “You owe me,” he said. “So, go ahead. Sell it. See what happens to you.”

Minhyun licked his lips in a flirtatious manner. Joshua usually ignored it. Especially since the two of them never went further than flirting and the occasional fuck. Minhyun knew better than to push Joshua, since Joshua was reluctant to get into a relationship. Something that he was grateful for, that Minhyun respected that Joshua had issues.

He shook his head as he tried to stare Joshua down to no avail. “You’re always so strong. It’s annoying,” he tsked.

Joshua laughed at him. “You’re several years too young to try and beat me.”

“You’re not older than me,” Minhyun pointed out.

Joshua would always bring up age when he felt that Minhyun was getting uppity. Giving Minhyun a bitter smile, Joshua said, “After remembering several lifetimes you feel nothing but old.” He waved his hand. “You should be used to me talking like this anyhow.”

Scoffing Minhyun said, “But in this lifetime, I’m still older than you.”

“It doesn’t matter. Now get me what I’m here for. The thing that will end the debt you owe me for that one night.” Joshua pushed away from the counter, tapping his foot impatiently. “I have classes to teach in an hour or so.”

“Fine,” he said, throwing up his hands, “fine.” Going back past the curtains, Minhyun rifled through some bottles. He walked back out, holding a glass bottle wrapped with many enchantments. “One soul. Not human. For a demon cat to consume.”

Joshua smiled at him. “Perfect. Niko will love it.” Holding out his hand Joshua took it from Minhyun, allowing him to brush his fingers against Joshua’s.

Trying to pull away, Joshua was stopped by Minhyun wrapping his other hand on his wrist. Joshua raised a brow in question.

“Let me take you out on a date. Please.”

Joshua felt his heart close up, and the metaphorical walls start to come crashing down in front of it. “You know better than to ask that.” Joshua yanked his hand away as if he had been burned. “I guess we went too far when we fell into bed with each other.”

Minhyun opened his mouth, but Joshua snapped back quickly. “I said before that the most we could be was friends who occasionally had sex. Nothing more. If you find that it’s not enough then we’ll just stop being friends.”

Minhyun’s lips thinned. “You know I value our friendship more than trying to pursue a relationship with you.”

“Do you now? It doesn’t look like it.” Joshua retorted. Sighing he ran his fingers through his hair. “It doesn’t matter. If you keep pushing, I’ll just go to someone else for my stuff. I come to you out of friendship. I know plenty of others who sell the same wares.”

His lips dropped to an almost pout. “Fine,” Minhyun mumbled, “sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Joshua checked his watch. “I need to go now. Don’t bring this up anymore unless you want to no longer see me.” Waving Joshua left the store. He put the bottle into his bag and got into his car. This was the problem of going further than being friends with someone you were close with. They demanded more. Joshua should’ve never fallen into bed with Minhyun. He’d have to cut down the time he shopped at his store then.

He had lunch to get before his last classes of the day.

* * *

Walking into the lecture hall, Joshua let out a small tired smile. Jun showed up early. He was currently playing with Niko.

“Good afternoon Jun. How was the break?” Joshua put his bag on the table gently, ignoring Niko as he moved out from under Jun’s hands to sniff at the bag.

“Good Prof,” Jun chirped, “lots of sleep and spending time with Wonwoo.”

“Don’t you two spend a lot of time together already? You two spend so much time together it’s like I never see you two apart,” Joshua said shaking his head. He pushed at Niko, putting two fingers on his head moving him away from the bag. “No, Niko. Later.”

Niko perked up. His tail started to swish from side to side, his eyes glowing an unnatural red color. “What’d you get me Shua? What’d you get me?”

The demon cat looked like he was ready to pounce on Joshua.

“It’s a surprise. You’ll love it,” Joshua said warmly. Gently he rubbed down Niko’s back. “You’ll love it.” He pressed a kiss onto the cat’s head before shoving him off the table.

He laughed as the demon cat let out an offended yowl.

Jun blinked, surprised for a few seconds before he too laughed.

“I see you were rather early today?”

Jun turned, his face stretched in a smile. “It’s exciting. I’m finally a TA for one of your classes. This one especially. First years.” The smile on Jun’s face took a slight devious turn.

“Don’t corrupt the first years Jun,” Joshua warned.

Flashing Joshua what Jun apparently thought was an innocent smile, he spread his hands and said, “I promise professor.”

Joshua snorted. Hearing a clink, he looked at the table. Reaching out his hands he grabbed Niko away from his bag.

The cat dug his claws into the table. “Nooo Shua,” he whined. “I saw that bottle. Is it what I think it is?!”

Jun looked at the bag curiously.

God Niko sounded so excited. Sighing Joshua replied, “Yes. It’s exactly what you think it is. I spent a good deal of time finding one for you. Now wait like a good cat.”

Niko let go of the table, allowing Joshua to pick him up and cuddle him in his arms. Niko rubbed his head against Joshua’s chin, purring. “Thanks Joshua. You’re so good to me master.”

Joshua chuckled, letting Niko rub himself all over Joshua. “I know I am. Now can you wait until class is over?”

Letting out a mroaw Niko suggested, “Let’s show them a demonstration. It’d impress the pants out of the babies. Come on Shua!”

Jun also looked interested in an impressive showcase of magic. “Professor? What’s Niko talking about?”

Joshua sighed. The way Niko whined was so ear grating at times, Joshua thought. “Hmmmm.” He let Niko climb onto his shoulders, rubbing all the while. “I guess we could. It’d have to be in a containment field though. You get wild when you transform. I don’t want you accidentally lashing out at them since they’re strangers in terms of magic.”

Niko’s ears perked up. Jumping onto the table he sat all prim and proper his tail moving a mile a minute, making a long swishing noise. “Ok. As long as I get my soul.”

“A soul?”

Nodding Joshua said, “Yes. A soul. I purchased a lower level demon soul for Niko to consume. I’ll have to draw a containment field over to the side for the demonstration. Hopefully it won’t scare the pants off these first years.”

“Wonwoo is going to be so jealous when he hears about this,” Jun chortled.

“Film it for the intermediate class,” Joshua said. “That way they won’t whine at me too when they hear the news from your loose lips,” he said dryly.

“Heh.” Jun saluted him. “Got it.”

“Now set out the syllabi for them,” Joshua ordered dropping a much smaller stack than this morning in his hands.

Jun set off taking them with him, placing them on each seat.

Joshua held out his hand, watching Niko rub his head into it. “The things I do for you,” Joshua muttered.

“I love you too Shua,” Niko purred.

“You better you cat,” Joshua teased.

“I do.”

Joshua felt a slight bitter smile form on his face. Declarations of love always seemed to be more miss than hit with him. Even when it came from someone who loved him unconditionally. He trusted so little now a days.

* * *

This class was so small Joshua left the microphone alone. “Good afternoon everyone. Welcome to what is officially known as Anthro 178: Magical Theory, but in reality, its Magic 101. And before anyone says that they think they’re in the wrong class let me tell you something. The only way you were able to register for this class is that you saw past the magical barriers. You have talent. Be it small or large. You’re all here for a reason.” He gave them a benign smile as he sat on the large table in the front. “To learn magic. Now let’s begin with introductions. It looks like this quarter’s class is extremely small.”

Jun raised his hand. “I’ll go first Professor.”

Joshua nodded.

“Hi first years,” Jun said, “I’m Wen Junhui, 3rd year, and your TA for the quarter. Come see me if you need help and Professor Hong isn’t available. My specialty is protective magic with a side of curses.” He winked at them.

“Thank you, Jun.,” Joshua pointed to Niko. “This is my familiar. Niko introduce yourself.”

The cat yawned as he got up from his laying position. Opening his eyes, they turned red. “I’m a demon cat from the upper reaches of hell. The name is Niko. Don’t touch me unless I say you can. Otherwise you might lose a finger or two.”

Joshua sighed as he saw some of the students gulp. “Thank you, Niko, for that lovely introduction. Now. If you read the course information you’d know my name. But if you hadn’t I’m Professor Joshua Hong. You may call me Prof, Professor, Professor Hong, even Prof Hong. I’ve been studying magic,” he crossed his legs, “for over twenty years. I’m more than qualified for those who think I look a bit too young. You are in this class to learn how to harness your magic. You must listen to me. If you choose to test your limits without my permission or you abuse your talent in some sort of way that goes against the rules you will be dismissed from this class and your magic will be bound as per the rules of the Magical Council of the Magical Creatures and Beings.” He stared at all of ten of them, noticing how some of them looked ready to expire. “Any questions so far?”

A brave student raised their hand. “What’s the Magical council?”

“You are?” Joshua asked.

“Lee Chan. I didn’t know about magic before and my parents don’t have any so…I’m pretty much clueless.” He looked embarrassed but it was brave of him to even ask as the other students were rigid in their seats.

“That’s understandable. The Magical Council is, was set up many eons ago but magical creatures and beings with the talent, as a safeguard for those who had magic and to make sure no one abused it. Magic, if you’ve known has gone underground. For good reason. But as it is magic users can’t use magic to make people disappear or die. It’d be unethical and then questions would be asked and if it was traced back to us things would go into chaos. The Magic Council set up rules that have to be followed. It’s for your own protection and the protection of nonusers against those who would choose to go rogue and do wrong things with the talent.”

They all looked at Joshua. “The council have hunted down rogue magic users who went dark and started using magic to kill and reanimate the dead when they were not given permission to bring them back.”

Another hand raised, “Permission?” He closed his mouth, before opening it again. “Boo Seungkwan, Professor.”

“Necromancy under certain circumstances is permissible. Like the Japanese Shinto priests who talk to the dead, or those who have an affinity for ghosts.” Joshua stared them all down, “Any more questions?” He was met with silence and heads shaking.

“Good. Now that syllabus in front you is a contract. For the duration of this class you are my students and under my wing. I will to the best of my ability teach you to use your magic and help you find your specialty. That contract however is also one connected to the Magical Council. If you sign if you will abide by their rules. Breaking it means your magic is forfeit. Breaking the most heinous rules means your life is forfeit. Take it home and go to the Magic Council’s website to download a pdf version of the rulebook. I’d read it over before you sign the contract and bring it back to me the next class session.”

He nodded to Jun, lifting his chin to the books on the table. “Now let’s keep going before we begin with lesson one, what is magic and how do we use it.”

Jun took the books and passed them out.

* * *

Joshua put down the marker as the finished the outline of magic and the general areas. “I’m ending the lesson a bit early today to show you a practical demonstration of magic. Don’t expect all the classes to have demonstrations. Today is special as I purchased something for Niko.” Walking over to the side, Joshua took the chalk from his pocket and waited for Niko to jump in. Marking the last rune, he closed the circle. A flare of magic reverberated across the room.

He looked at the class. “I bought Niko a lower level demon soul to eat. Should you ever get a familiar or continue the lessons with me, in your third year you get to summon one if you don’t have one, some of them do have weird diets. In Niko’s case, he has a taste for souls and while he’ll survive without one I thought he deserved something.”

Jun had his phone out and ready to record.

“You’ll feel a strong weight come across you. Maybe even some pressure if you have a specialty for holy magic. What Niko will be doing is steeped in dark magic. If you can’t handle how it looks, turn away. Otherwise don’t approach more than I will allow.”

He motioned to them, holding out a hand when they were just ten paces away from Jun. “Stay there and do not get any closer.”

Joshua walked to the table and got the bottle. “Depending on your natural ability some of you might be able to see the enchantments surrounding the bottle. It’s to keep the soul in and the bottle from breaking.” He looked down. “Ready Niko?”

“As ever,” he smirked.

Joshua crouched and opened the bottle in the containment circle. He took three steps back. “Go ahead.”

The soul started swirling out of the bottle, the purple fumes wafting through the magic enclosure trying to get out.

Niko transformed. He grew larger, the claws came out, the fur raised on end, his tail splitting into two. When the soul was completely out of the bottle, Niko pounced, paw slamming down on one end as he bit into the middle. The soul screamed. A few students took more steps back. He started devouring it.

Joshua noted that Niko wasn’t being an elegant eater this time around. He must have wanted to put on a demonic show. What a show off.

Chan, Joshua saw, looked on with wide eyes. As Mina looked ready to turn away from the sight. Even the ones accustomed to magic looked a bit green around the edges. Vernon had his mouth opened wide, while Yuna looked sick.

Niko kept eating until he gobbled the last end of the soul. Gulping it down he turned towards the class, the look in his eyes less contained than normal, looking ready to tear into them.

Joshua tsked. He should’ve known. Niko hadn’t had a soul in a while. Stepping in front of the students, Joshua shouted, making sure to put magic into his command, “Niko!” He felt Jun shiver from force of Joshua’s magic.

The cat sat down.

Materializing Niko’s leash, Joshua stepped forward reaching into the shield and clipping it on. The magic zipped out, forcing Niko to go back into his cat form. Slowly Niko blinked the feral look in his eyes away. Joshua got to his knees, giving Niko a look before the cat rubbed his head against Joshua’s hand.

“Sorry Shua. I got over excited.” He grinned cheekily.

Wryly Joshua replied, “I could tell. Are you going to be a good kitty now?”

He nodded.

Joshua took his foot and rubbed it over some of the chalk, marring it to let the magical containment field to fall. Holding Niko’s leash in hand he turned to the class. “It’s doubtful that any of you would ever summon a demon animal as a familiar as they’re too strong to handle in most cases; other familiar diets aren’t so rambunctious.” He smiled as some of them let out sighs of relief.

“This will be last time I have a demonstration like this. If you have any pressing questions for me, you can talk to me now. Class is dismissed. I hope to see you all again come Wednesday. If not the Magical Council will seek you out to make sure you have contact info for other teachers if that’s what you wish should you not continue with the university’s curriculum of magic. Otherwise they will schedule a binding. Have a nice rest of your day.”

They went to their seats and collected their belongings. Chan came back to say, “That was really wild and I’ll definitely be back Wednesday Professor Hong.”

“That’s great,” Joshua replied, smiling at his enthusiasm.

Piping up from chalk cleaning duty Jun said, “Professor Hong is the best magic teacher in the university. But you didn’t hear that from me.”

Niko nodded, the bell on his collar clinking. “Shua is the best. The others aren’t up to par.”

Joshua sighed, giving the leash a small tug. “Ignore Niko. He’s being biased. I’ll see you Wednesday Chan.”

He nodded before practically skipping out of the room.

“That was something Niko,” Jun said as he got up from his bended position.

Licking his teeth Niko said, “Souls are the best Jun. I went a bit out of control.”

“The other classmates will be so envious they didn’t get to see this live,” he said, grin plastered all over his face.

“You kids have such weird tastes. Should I plan a more sedate demonstration tomorrow for you all?” Joshua asked, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Aww, don’t be like that Prof,” Jun said throwing away the paper towels he used to clean the chalk.

“Hmm. Well tomorrow’s class will be at my discretion. Now get out of here and hang out with your boyfriend.”

Jun saluted. “Bye prof. See you tomorrow.”

Joshua sighed. “I don’t remember having that much energy when I was that young.”

“You were like an old man,” Niko complained.

“Yea, well this old man got you a soul. Now be happy,” Joshua growled.

Laughing Niko rubbed against Joshua’s legs. “I am. Thanks Shua.”

“Let’s go to the office for some work Niko,” he said picking Niko up in his arms. He grabbed his bag on the way out.

* * *

Joshua saw a familiar figure waiting at his door as he walked up the hallway. “Jihoon. What can I do for you? You’re not registered for any of my courses this quarter, are you?”

Pushing in the door, Joshua let Niko jump to the floor making his way to his bed.

Joshua sat down in his chair, waving for Jihoon to take a seat.

He sat down, hands on his lap. An odd look in his eyes.

“I’m taking Magical Fields and Magical 303 with you this quarter. But that’s not what I’m here for.”

Nodding Joshua set up his computer. “So what can I help you with?” He stared at the screen as it booted up.

“I heard you and Professor Choi had,” he paused, “sex before.”

Joshua sighed closing his eyes. God damn it. What was with today?


	4. A Magical Meeting...not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this is part one of my brithday present i guess. even though it's more a present to the readers than to me. But anyhow so here's a chapter since it's my birthday. I had planned to update three stories but i'll likely only be able update two. shit happened yesterday and i'm busy today not with birthday related things but stupid life things.

Taking a moment to compose himself, he put a smile on his face. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business Jihoon. Can I ask why you’re even asking?”

Niko got up, bell jingling. No doubt ready to fight in Joshua’s defense.

He blushed. “I’m dating Seungcheol now. And I just wondered…”

Joshua shook his head, holding up a hand to stop him. “Listen. What you do with Professor Choi isn’t my business. But if you must know I had sex with him once and only once. It was a long time ago. Before he was dating you. Eight years ago, even. Is that enough to satisfy your curiosity?”

“Yes,” Jihoon said. “I just wanted to make sure. You’re one of my teachers and all and I see you quite a bit. And I…”

Picking up on the unsaid words, Joshua let out another sigh. “It wouldn’t have mattered. I wouldn’t be unfair to you simply because you were dating him. I haven’t even had a good talk with him in months. We’re not exactly friends. Our relationship was literally one night of sex and that was it. There are no lingering feelings. Don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry Professor. I just needed the reassurance,” he said.

The look on Jihoon’s face was enough for Joshua to see that he felt insecure and that even coming here took a lot out of him. For him to say that he needed reassurance must’ve hurt. “I don’t have any feelings for Professor Choi. I’m happy if you’re happy with your relationship with him.” Leaning over Joshua brought Jihoon’s face up to see him better. “And one word of advice. If he’s with you now it means that there’s nothing left between us all right. If he’s an asshole just turn him into a frog temporarily.”

Jihoon let out a laugh. “Of course, Professor.”

Niko settled back down.

Joshua let go of his face. “Now. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Are we really summoning familiars this quarter?” His eyes twinkled with excitement.

“Yes. It’s time for you all to have one. Most of the class is built around partner work so you and your familiar can work on your rapport together.”

Jihoon nodded. “That’s all I have.” He sheepishly said, “I’m sorry for asking such a private question. But when he mentioned you off handedly and all I couldn’t help it.”

“No feelings at all. Didn’t even feel anything for him then either.”

“It’s not only just that. You’re,” he bit his lip, “you’re very good looking Professor and I’m only me.”

“Looks aren’t everything Jihoon,” Joshua said, staring at him, trying to convey his sincerity. “If he ever leaves for someone who’s supposedly better looking than he wasn’t worth it.”

“Thanks,” he said. He looked at the clock. “I have to go to class before I’m late. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Joshua waved goodbye. As soon as Jihoon closed the door he deflated.

“Good lord. What is with today?”

Niko blinked his eyes. “Did something happen earlier today?”

“Human crap Niko. It’s what I get I guess for having sex with people. But they weren’t attached,” Joshua despaired. “God. Bringing up something that happened years ago.”

Niko sniffed haughtily. “I told you not mate with that god forsaken human. Look what it brought you.”

“It was only for one night Niko,” Joshua snapped. “It meant little, beyond getting some sexual release.” Groaning Joshua said, “It’s the fact that the idiot is now dating someone I teach that’s all. What kind of fucking imbecile tells the person he’s dating that he had sex with one of the other teachers here?”

“An idiot,” Niko deadpanned, licking his paws. “The camel look alike is an idiot.”

“I guess I’ll have to actually call him for once. And make sure he shuts the hell up about it. Idiot.”

“I told you Shua,” Niko repeated.

Joshua stared at his familiar. “Sometimes Niko you’re a giant nag.”

* * *

Hearing a knock on his door, Joshua sighed, taking one big breath of air before saying, “Come in.”

Lo and behold. The idiot who told his new boyfriend that he fucked a professor, who happened to be his new boyfriend’s teacher.

“You called me?” Seungcheol sounded perplexed.

Which given the situation he should. Joshua never contacted him ever again after that one night besides saying the occasional hello and head nods when he saw him.

Waiting until Seungcheol closed the door, Joshua spoke before he could say anything even more idiotic, “I don’t appreciate you telling your new boyfriend about having sex with me.”

His jaw dropped, “What?”

Joshua smiled, one that said you’re on thin fucking ice. “Jihoon is one of my students. He apparently wanted to know if we or just me, I assume, had any lingering feelings for you. I fucking don’t,” Joshua hissed. “Stop telling your new boyfriend things that happened years ago. We fucked for one night and that was it. Keep it to yourself.” Joshua stood up, marching angrily towards Seungcheol poking him in the chest. “It’s annoying as hell. And what kind of fucking idiot tells his new boyfriend he had sex with a fellow professor. Especially one who’s his boyfriend’s damn professor.”

“I didn’t know you were his professor,” Seungcheol said, holding his hands up in defense. “I mentioned you in a tangent that you and my friend would probably be compatible. The fact that we had sex that one time slipped out when Jihoon asked me how I knew you when we don’t even work in the same department.” His dumb eyes opened wide, “I didn’t mean to. Sorry.”

Jabbing him again, Joshua snarled. “Well don’t bring me up again. Even if it’s in relation to your friend. If he’s as dumb as you he’s not my type. And you might want to reassure Jihoon that our one night of sex was just for sex and it meant nothing and that you don’t even remember it. Otherwise you might further damage your relationship.”

Seungcheol nodded. “You’re right. It’s already bad enough that we were childhood neighbors and sort of friends. The fact that I had sex with you when he was pining away for me is bad.” He spoke quietly, in a sad sort of voice, “That night was a bad idea but it helped cement the idea that I was in love with him.”

Joshua held up his hand. “I don’t need to hear anymore. You should be telling Jihoon this. Not me.”

“I’m sorry for this mess and for well using you I guess that night and all.”

Snorting Joshua said, “I used you too. Don’t worry. I had no feelings for you. You’re not my fucking type. Don’t think too highly of yourself. You aren’t all that.”

His face fell a bit further. Joshua shouldn’t take vindictive pleasure out of this but damn it all he caused Joshua a headache.

“Right,” Seungcheol said. He rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry and all. And I’ll go tell Jihoon that stuff. Thanks. I guess.”

Joshua waved him to leave. “Yes, yes. Bye and don’t darken my office again.”

Seungcheol gave him a head nod, closing Joshua’s door with a snick.

Niko blinked his eyes open. “The camel go away now?”

Joshua sighed and nodded. “Do I look like a therapist Niko? Why do people keep confessing their problems to me?”

“You look like a nice person Shua. That’s why.” He yawned. “But will you listen to me from now on about the people you have sex with? Wasn’t that a huge mistake.”

Joshua groaned into his hands. “The biggest mistake I made in this lifetime.”

Niko looked at him, his eyes piercing through him, “Bigger than the first mistake that broke your heart?”

His heart pounded slowly. It felt like the blood stopped as Joshua looked up at Niko with the bleakest of expressions. “No,” he said. “Nothing will ever top that first mistake,” Joshua replied quietly.

Getting up Niko climbed Joshua’s legs. He rubbed his head against Joshua’s face. “Let’s just live life without stupid people Shua. Look at how they hurt you.”

Joshua said nothing holding onto Niko like he was his only lifeline.

* * *

Going to a bar the night before an intermediate magic class was dumb. But in all honesty Joshua needed something. This bar at the very least was owned by a friend.

“Hoshi,” Joshua said. True names were never spoken out loud for the Fae. Not unless the Fae wanted that person to have power over them. Joshua, while he knew Hoshi’s true name kept it to himself as a good friend did.

“Here on a school night Shua? What’s wrong?”

Joshua gave him a tight-lipped smile. For Hoshi to pick up on his mood was annoying at times, but it happened to be his specialty. “Lots of things. None of which I want to discuss here.”

Hoshi nodded, going to mix a drink for Joshua.

This bar in particular catered to the supernatural denizens of that roamed the streets of the cities and those who came here for business or a visit. It wasn’t someplace to discuss Joshua’s old mistakes with magic and life.

Gently, he placed a clear drink in front of Joshua. “Vodka on the rocks. You need something strong.”

Laughing Joshua asked as he took it, “Where’s the rocks?”

Hoshi smiled at him. “You definitely don’t need the rocks.”

Joshua saluted him with the glass, downing half of it in one go. After hundreds of lifetimes of drinking Joshua no longer winced or made faces at the taste of alcohol like he had done before drinking with a certain someone. It tasted like water some lifetimes.

“Want to talk about tomorrow when you’re free?” Hoshi asked. He gave Joshua a concerned look.

Staring into the glass Joshua nodded. “Yea. Come by for dinner. I’ll tell you all about the shit show of today.”

Patting Joshua on the back he replied, “Got it. I’ll bring something nice for Niko too.”

Joshua stared into the cup a bit more before swallowing the rest of the contents. “Thanks for the drink. I need to get home for tomorrow. Can’t do magic hungover.”

Hoshi giggled. “The kids won’t know what hit them if you ever did.”

Joshua giggled right back. “Hmm. True that. Bye Hoshi.” He waved.

Walking out of the bar, he nearly stumbled into someone. “Sorry,” he mumbled. It wasn’t actually his fault as the guy was the one who was clearly drunk as a skunk and the area around the bar was never well lit at all.

The guy apparently had a good look of Joshua’s face as he said out loud, “You’re really pretty! Want to celebrate with me?! I got a new job today!”

Joshua smiled. He shook his head walking down the road, “I think your friends are looking for you. Have a nice time celebrating.” Joshua walked away as the guy’s friends caught up with him and took him into their arms, no doubt taking him home before he bashed his head into the pavement.

* * *

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol groaned. “Seriously.”

Minhyuk laughed at the face Jeonghan pulled. “Did the pretty man reject your offer?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Yea. He was pretty.”

He kept laughing. “Oh well. I don’t think he likes drunks. Let’s get you home so you can teach tomorrow.”

Seungcheol stared at the figure. Was that who he thought it was? It didn’t matter, he thought, as Jeonghan nearly hit him in the face with his flailing hand. Joshua said to never bring him up again and Seungcheol would respect that.

* * *

Joshua shushed Niko as the cat kept meowing into his ear as Joshua held him to his chest by his ass. “Quiet you loud cat. I didn’t do anything last night. Which I told you this morning.”

Niko whined. “You should’ve taken me with you.”

“Shush. We’re not alone.”

Niko pouted, rubbing his head into Joshua’s shoulders.

This quarter was a bit annoying as one of his intermediate magic classes were scheduled right after a Biology class. Joshua couldn’t show up early and set up at all. He waited against the opposite wall with some of familiar faces. He nodded to them as they bowed back.

The door opened and a flood of students filed out. Niko flicked his ears as they waited against Joshua’s jaw, his tail dangling like a menace.

“Hold the door open would you Wonwoo?” Joshua asked as he saw Wonwoo come and take the door in hand.

“Sure thing Prof.”

Why they assigned Joshua to such a big room here in all the buildings on campus he didn’t know? Any large lecture room would’ve been fine. But he guessed it was an easier clean up with the tiled floors of this one. Joshua walked in and waited as the teacher of the previous class was cleaning up and talking to students.

Joshua’s own students filed in and sat in the first three rows. They knew by now that intermediate classes were intimate more often than not. Although from certain stories Joshua heard, the intro classes were sometimes rather full.

The teacher turned and Joshua almost dropped Niko out of surprise.

“Oh. Sorry if I'm taking too long. First week of teaching here and I just wanted to get things done right.” The guy gave Joshua a smile.

A guy that was all too familiar to Joshua. Of all people to come back into Joshua’s life. Why him?


	5. Destiny or Fate?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have to accept the awful truth that in your lifetime, there will always be people who don’t pick you back. -chasingsettingsuns (via wnq-writers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter but deep i hope

Joshua stared at him his eyes wide. Yoon Jeonghan of all fucking people. Was Fate fucking with him? Seriously? Him?! Why after all these lifetimes did he have to appear in Joshua’s life again?

Niko mrowed in his ears, no doubt not liking how stunned Joshua looked. Thankfully that loud obnoxious meow startled Joshua out of his trance.

He pasted a smile on his face. “It’s not a problem. Teaching is hard. Especially if it’s your first week here.” Thank fuck he didn’t work for Joshua’s department. He wouldn’t have to see him if he avoided showing up this early for class.

Too bad Joshua didn’t remember Destiny was a bitch.

He held out his hand for Joshua to shake. “Jeonghan, Professor of Bio.”

Joshua took his hand and shook it, holding onto Niko rather hard, trying to hide his shaking. “Joshua. Professor of Anthropology.” He kept his eyes on Jeonghan’s face and not on that damn ring they had made their promises on. Jeonghan still wore it on his middle finger.

Jeonghan stared at him, looking him up and down, his eyes taking on a twinkle and a smirk forming on his lips.

He clearly liked what he saw. But Joshua didn’t care. He didn’t. Even if a small part of his brain said jumped in joy that Jeonghan still found him attractive.

“You have your cat in class?” Jeonghan asked, looking away from Joshua’s face to Niko. “He’s handsome.”

Niko was handsome. A fully gray, short hair cat, with the prettiest eyes when he was playing at being a domestic cat.

He hissed and swiped a claw out as Jeonghan tried to pet him though, knowing that this man set Joshua off but not knowing why. Always trying to protect Joshua after he saved him from dying that one lifetime.

Joshua pulled him close, using this to back away from Jeonghan. “I’m sorry. Niko doesn’t like strangers.”

Jeonghan nodded, pulling his hand back. “Not a problem.” He gave Joshua a long look. “Maybe we won’t be strangers long.”

Biting his lip Joshua said nothing. Jeonghan’s flirting tactics were the same as ever. They were strangers. No matter how Joshua thought they weren’t after the first lifetime they were. He thought he knew Jeonghan but in the end, he didn’t. Joshua didn’t want to get to know him anymore. Not at all.

“Professor Hong,” Wonwoo said, piping up from his seat, “class just started.”

“Thank you Wonwoo,” Joshua replied back. He gave a bland smile to Jeonghan. “I have to start class, so if you can leave…”

“Oh,” Jeonghan said, startled as he looked up at the clock. “I’m sorry. Maybe next time we can talk some more. Outside of class?”

Joshua, who laid his bag on the table, and let Niko out of his arms replied, “Maybe.”

Jeonghan gave Joshua a little salute. “Next time then,” before walking out of the lecture hall.

Joshua gripped the handle of his bag hard, trying not to shake as he took things out.

“Shua,” Niko asked, coming close.

“Not now Niko,” Joshua said, voice calm even when all he wanted to do was curl up and die. He had to be calm. He had a class to teach.

“Later?”

“Yes. Later.” Booting up his laptop Joshua said, “This class we’ll be learning how to summon familiars for the first two weeks before we take a crack at it. So, it’s magical theory and practice for a bit. Take out your book and turn to page 10, magical beasts.”

Picking up his pointer he aimed it at the screen. “Let’s begin.”

* * *

Jeonghan walked out, looking once more at his pretty fellow professor with the handsome cat. He was sort of cold but that could be changed. Jeonghan was a charmer. Jogging towards the exit, he reminded himself to swing by Seungcheol’s office and ask him about the professor. Maybe he knew about Joshua.

Nodding to the person who left the door open for him, he walked, in long strides, to Seungcheol’s office. Throwing it open he ignored the minor yelp his friend let out and said point blank, “Joshua, professor of Anthropology, do you know him?”

Seungcheol got up from the floor. Apparently, he took a spill when Jeonghan came into the office like a hurricane. Jeonghan shrugged. Oh well.

 “I do,” he said, looking a bit leery as he sat back on his office chair, “why?”

“He’s gorgeous and I’m interested,” Jeonghan declared. He wouldn’t mention the tug he felt when he saw him come through the door. Or that somehow he felt like he had seen him before.

Scoffing Seungcheol whirled back to his computer, “Listen. This is your first week here and your job is currently temporary. Keep your dick in your pants before you go running after all the gorgeous professors the school has.”

Jeonghan played with his ring, twirling it around. He never wondered why it was just a bit big on him. All he knew was that he never took it off. Ever. Staring at it he felt his heart warm and then a light tug once again, as if drawing him towards something. Or someone.

“He’s really pretty though. My type,” Jeonghan said absentmindedly.

Seungcheol let out a gusty sigh. He got up, his chair creaking.

Feeling Seungcheol’s beefy hands on his shoulders, Jeonghan looked up. “Listen,” Seungcheol said, “let’s secure this teaching job before you think with your dick ok? Professor Hong isn’t going anywhere. He’s been teaching here longer than me.”

“Hong?” Jeonghan said as Seungcheol let go and sat back down.

He nodded. “Joshua Hong, anthro prof. A cat person and wildly loved by his students. Jihoon is in his classes.” Seungcheol looked away at that, remembering the last conversation he had with Joshua about that. And the ensuing conversation he had with Jihoon, reassuring him that he loved him and that one night with Joshua was a very long time ago and that it only reaffirmed his feelings for Jihoon.

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes. “You sure you aren’t hiding something from me?”

Hunching his shoulders, giving Jeonghan a big tell, he said, “I’m not. I only met the guy a few times.” True words. Seungcheol had only met him a few times. One time was in his bed and having Joshua underneath him. Joshua Hong was gorgeous, especially naked. He just couldn’t tell that to Jeonghan, unless he wanted Joshua after his own dick, likely to cut it and feed it to him given that death glare he had given Seungcheol. And Seungcheol liked his dick as did Jihoon so he’d shut his mouth.

“Fine,” Jeonghan drawled, “be like that. I’ll get you spill one way or another.”

He shuddered. Jeonghan was too good at that shit. “Not hiding a thing.”

“Whatever,” he dismissed, “how was the date with Jihoon?” Jeonghan changed topics. He’d get Seungcheol to spill one day.

* * *

Joshua sighed as the class gathered their belongings. After a very trying lecture thanks to that encounter with the man who broke his heart across many lifetimes Joshua needed to go home, away from this place. Even being in a lecture hall far away from the Biology building was too close still.

He said goodbyes as his students waved or nodded their heads or murmured their goodbyes to him. Wonwoo and Jun though stopped to talk a bit.

“You ok Prof?” Wonwoo looked at him through his round glasses, the worry clear.

“I’m fine,” Joshua said, as Niko sat on the table letting Jun pet him.

“That other professor…” Wonwoo said trailing off.

“What about him?” Joshua asked, putting his laptop into his bag.

“He scared you.”

What a bomb for Wonwoo to drop. Joshua turned to him. “You felt that?”

Wonwoo nodded.

Joshua sighed. He forgot that Wonwoo came to this school an empath who didn’t quite know how to harness his powers or to cut it off when needed. Joshua had literally guided him from step one to where he was today, comfortable in his own skin again and no longer shutting his own emotions out.

“It was so loud. Even with my shields up I heard you,” Wonwoo bit his lip, worried. “Is he bad news?”

Choking down a sob, Joshua said, making sure to try and project calm that he didn’t feel. “I have history with him. A promise made long ago.” He held up a hand as Wonwoo opened his mouth, “I won’t go into this further. You are my student and I’m your teacher. Especially here on this campus.” He patted Wonwoo on the head even if he was a few inches taller than him. “I know you care but this isn’t something you should involve yourself in.”

Jun sneaked a glance and made a sad face.

Wonwoo nodded. “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow Professor.”

Joshua watched as the two of them linked hands and left.

No doubt Wonwoo wouldn’t forget this. But he wouldn’t bring it up for a while. Out of respect for his mentor who helped him deal with his empathic powers.

“Time to go home Joshua,” Niko said. “You need rest.”

Joshua nodded. “Yea. Let’s go home Niko.”

“Then we can talk about this Jeonghan man.” Niko looked at him, seriously staring at his master. The way he held himself together even though Niko could tell that Joshua was just a few words from breaking apart. His fragile beloved human that was his to protect and he couldn’t do anything about this pain that plagued him for centuries. Niko nearly bit his tongue, but he had to ask. He had to ask this question. “Is he the one?”

Turning to him Joshua gave him the bleakest expression he had seen yet. Gripping his bag tightly Joshua answered him. “Yes,” his lashes falling on the top of his cheeks. His eyes looked like they wanted to cry an ocean deep.


	6. Loose Ribbons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate. - Sophie  
> http://wnq-writers.com/post/145207403014/if-you-want-to-forget-something-or-someone-never

Joshua was lucky enough to live near enough campus he could go home for his rather long break before his night class at six. And after seeing Jeonghan and having him try to chat Joshua up; he needed time alone. Somewhere safe, away from his beloved work place. Joshua didn’t think he’d ever feel safe there anymore. Not if Jeonghan was working there.

The entire car ride home Niko was quiet like a mouse. Something unusual for him. Considering Joshua’s current state of mind though, he likely stayed quiet out of worry. Joshua was grateful. If Niko chatted he would bring up Jeonghan. The demon cat was always curious about Joshua’s past and the promise that he made and broke only for another promise to be made in exchange.

Joshua only ever told him the bare minimum. Every time he even spoke parts of his memories out loud his throat would close and he felt that deep ache that never seemed to go away. It held onto him like a vice, scarring his heart beyond repair no matter how many lifetimes he had lived with without Jeonghan in his life to scar it further. Time was supposed to heal all wounds. But Joshua found not even all the time he had ever lived healed his.

Wounds scabbed over time and a person would get over them. Every once in a while, perhaps pick at them to let them bleed a bit while reminiscing. Joshua wanted to say his scabbed over. But they hadn’t. The many lifetimes of rejection had cut the wound open time and time again. Each time Jeonghan left him or didn’t want him. It cut him deep and time seemed to do nothing for it.

Joshua tried to find other lovers, other people who would love him and that he could love in return. For healing. For himself. Even if Joshua healed it with someone else who loved him, cared for him. But he kept a part of himself from them. Left that bleeding wound away from their hands. Because while he loved them, a part of Joshua would always love Jeonghan just a bit even if he hated him.

“Shua,” Niko said, butting his head into Joshua’s arm, “we’re home.”

Blinking Joshua stared at his driveway and the walls of brick and the spires of the house that reminded him of castles and old memories. “We are,” he said quietly. “Let’s go inside.”

He walked slowly, as if in a trance and everything was foggy. Class was a bit of a blur and he thanked that it was the first day and his lessons never changed. But the night class was something mildly new and he needed to be on top of it. Several of his students would be back for that class and he couldn’t show them how shaken he still was.

Silently he let Niko and himself in to the house. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of calming draught. Biting his lip, he walked up the stairs to second floor, Niko following at his heels. He’d take a bit. If he really needed it. Only if he needed it.

Joshua put the bottle on his study table before leaving and going into the attic.

“What are you looking for Joshua?” Niko swished his tail and twitched his nose at the dust that moved as Joshua shoved boxes and lifted until he found the one he was looking for.

“The box,” he muttered. He rummaged around some more. He remembered going to get it when he turned twenty, ready to deal with the pain and living away from his family. It was still in the same place as his last lifetime had put it away, in the magic bank under lock and key. Every lifetime Joshua went to put it back in that box and the key handed to the workers under strict rules to scan for his soul. Only if it matched were they to hand over the key.

His eyes lit up as he found it. It was small but full of things that he hated to be reminded of, yet he always took it out of the bank each lifetime to add something new into it. And to remind him of the mistakes he would always regret. He never wanted to make the same one again.

Picking it up he turned to Niko with a sad smile, “I think it’s time to tell you the story. The lifetime that started it all.”

The two of them settled on the rug in front of the fireplace in Joshua’s study.

Opening the box Joshua closed his eyes in pain.

Niko mrowed, extremely worried. “Joshua?”

He gave Niko a tremulous smile. Gently he took out a ribbon. One that should’ve disintegrated with time, the woven fabric fallen to pieces and the vibrant sky blue color dead. But it was still in good condition, stopped in that moment of time many centuries ago.

Holding it out to Niko he said, “This,” his voice choked up, “this was a token, I guess, of the start of our relationship. Not the very first one. But the one that mattered the most in some ways.”

Niko moved close, snuggling up to Joshua in a bid to comfort him.

Eyes losing their focus Joshua started to lose himself in the memories. “We met when I was working as an apprentice to a wizard during my time at school.”

The room around them shifted, Joshua’s magic working to set the scene, using his memories to bring forth it all.

* * *

Joshua yawned as the day waned. It was long and the shop hadn’t seen many customers. A slow day it seemed. Soon he’d be able to close the shop and his master, Pirnk, would show Joshua things that the school wasn’t teaching him. Spells, magic, and history that would help him gain his wizarding license and he’d go back to home to his family mansion and live a quiet life of a small time noble with magic.

He leaned his hand, elbow on the counter when the bell rang above the door, signaling a customer.

“Hello,” Joshua called, sweeping his arm off the counter, the sleeve picking up some minor dust, “how may I help you today?”

A well off young man, similar to Joshua’s age walked in, hair flowing freely.

Joshua blinked in surprise. One of those nobles who took up the newer styles. His hair was long, longer than his shoulder and dyed. It was a bright blond not often found in these parts. Joshua knew that. He had been on a few journeys with his master to other parts of the land and remembered spending time in an area where most were blond and blue eyed. But considering the type of elves they were it wasn’t a surprise but to see that color on a human.

The young man placed, nearly slammed a black satin ribbon on the counter. In a rather demanding voice he asked, “Can you make this stay? And not break.”

“Stay?” Joshua asked a bit bewildered.

He held up his hair. “Make it stay in the bow I tie. Like a charm that makes sure every time I tie it, it doesn’t loosen. I’m getting tired of it.”

Nodding slowly Joshua said, “I can. But wouldn’t it be easier to simply cut your hair?”

Smirking at Joshua he leaned in close, making Joshua pull back before he got too close. He blinked at Joshua, nearly…flirting with his eyes and the way his lips pulled into a leer as he looked Joshua up and down. “I would but the hair attracts people and I don’t mind the cost.”

Joshua almost sneered back at him. But he kept his temper in check. Flirty rich noblemen weren’t his problem, they paid ridiculous amounts of things after all.  “It wouldn’t be a charm sir. It would be a spell and it might cost more than you’d be willing.”

Still smiling at Joshua, he waved his hand. “Money is no object. I’ve plenty. Can you do it?”

“Of course,” Joshua replied. “May I see it?”

He took his hand off the ribbon, allowing Joshua to pick it up. Joshua looked at his and nodded. “A spell that you’re asking for costs about 15 gold coins. And it won’t be permanent as the material of this ribbon is too,” he paused, “flimsy for holding magic. But it would last quite a while still. Is that fine with you sir?”

He stared at Joshua, nearly unnerving him with the quiet analyzation. But Joshua didn’t look away. He hated people like him. So, he stared back, taking in his blond dyed hair and the sharpness of his cheekbones and the tip of his nose, the straightness of his nose bridge and the clean shape of his chin and jaw. Handsome enough. Rich as well. Joshua held back his snort at the ridiculousness that made this person keep such annoying long hair, even with a face like that and riches it seemed to be able to throw it away on such a stupid thing.

“That’s fine,” he declared looking away from Joshua. “I can always come back with other ribbons that might hold spells longer I suppose.”

Joshua nodded. “Please step back. I don’t want stray magic to accidentally come at you.”

Moving a few steps back from the counter he stared still. Curious no doubt at what Joshua meant, but he owed him no explanation.

He held it in his hands, concentrating on what he wanted. Weaving magic between the thread Joshua whispered words of strength and bonding. Magic words that worked like glue, cementing the threads together in the way the rich young lord wanted. Ignoring the gasp a few paces away, Joshua placed it on the counter, tying it in a bow before whispering magic into the shape, willing it to keep that shape for as long as the thread would hold. As he felt the magic take, Joshua blinked, closing his eyes briefly.

Looking up the rich young lord had a stunned expression on his face. Joshua assumed he simply hadn’t seen magic being worked in front of him before. He held up the ribbon as it fell out of its tied shape unnaturally. “It’s done. 15 gold pieces please.”

“Do your eyes always glow when you do magic?” He asked, voice clear with excitement.

Joshua nodded slowly. “Most magic users’ eyes glow. Especially if they’re human. But your ribbon sir.” Joshua held it out.

“The name is Jeonghan. Jeonghan of the Yoon family.” He told it to Joshua as it was supposed to mean something. Like it held some sort of weight.

Unfortunately, it did. The Yoon family was leagues above Joshua’s own family small holding at the foot of the mountains. Rich and close to the crown. It meant a lot in the world of nobles and peasants. But nothing to Joshua. He had no interest in other nobles like Jeonghan. Not when they were the ones with more riches and higher statuses spitting at the feet of lower class nobles like Joshua or peasants when they outclassed them in class, their magic mediocre and holding none of the fire that burned within, their talent a small fire in the howling wind.

“Well, Lord Yoon, your ribbon. 15 gold pieces.” Joshua said this, evenly, politely, coldly.

It seemed to spark a sparkle in Jeonghan’s eyes. He counted out 15 gold pieces, sliding them over to Joshua. Joshua, about to let the ribbon fall into Jeonghan’s hand, felt his hand touched by Jeonghan’s fingers as he slid them across Joshua’s palm to get his newly spelled ribbon.

Joshua pulled away quickly, like he had been burnt. Clutching his hand to his chest, he clenched his jaw as Jeonghan chuckled at his scandalized expression. “Thank you?”

He would’ve loved to not give Jeonghan his name but he had too. “Joshua.”

Jeonghan smiled at him. “Thank you, Joshua. I’ll be back with other ribbons and some friends. They wanted some spells to be done themselves and considering your work,” he said as he tied his hair, his shirt riding up slightly, showing Joshua a smooth, slightly muscled stomach.

Shaking his head, he grinned ecstatically as it held its place. “Perfect. I’ll be back soon.” Winking at Joshua he walked out, but nothing without leaving a parting message. “Don’t miss me too much.”

As the door closed on him, Joshua snorted out loud. “I won’t miss you one iota. Stupid rich noblemen.”

Collecting the payment, Joshua counted them and slid them into the till, the magic closing around it as the total magically shifted to show the day’s earnings. His master would be happy with the amount. He’d no doubt ruffle Joshua’s hair like his father did and tell him he had done a good job. Then he’d show Joshua more wondrous magic, taking his mind off that flirtatious smile and wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be flashback too


	7. Sky Blue

“He came back didn’t he?” Niko asked, rubbing his head into Joshua’s arm.

Startled out of his memories the magic ended abruptly, the scene ending. Joshua nodded. “He came back with friends. They wanted simple things. Charms for things to hold, for pencils to always be sharp. Stupid things that only rich nobles had money for.” Joshua paused. “It was dumb but made money for the shop.”

“And Jeonghan?” Niko looked at Joshua, eyes piercing.

“He came back with ribbons. So many. Each one not suitable for what he wanted. But he apparently didn’t have time to go shopping and so he wanted me to spell a couple more. I thought it was the end but he kept coming back. Each ribbon more unsuitable than the last.” Laughing sadly, Joshua continued, “I thought he was just stupid,” he got quiet, “but it was on purpose. He wanted to keep seeing me so he brought flimsy ribbons.”

“A flirter.” Niko mrowwed in disdain.

“Yes,” Joshua said, petting Niko, eyes losing focus once more. “He was always a flirter. It was his trademark. It was a façade in most cases. It gave him what he wanted, attention. Behind closed doors…Jeonghan was softer, more loving, still a tease but a loving one.”

Narrowing his eyes Niko scoffed. “You speak of him with such kindness still. Even after he had hurt you for so many lifetimes.”

“It’s not so much kindness as it is truth,” Joshua said. “He loved me that lifetime. So much. And I loved him. It was the lifetimes after that,” he added trailing off.

Sniffing Niko kept mum, letting Joshua pet him.

Losing himself in the memories once again the room changed.

* * *

The bell rang and Joshua looked out from the door briefly to shout out the rote greeting. “Welcome in. I’ll be with you shortly.” His eyes widened as Jeonghan walked in. Why he was back Joshua didn’t know? You’d think that after spending so much money on silly spells he’d be out of his allowance and he’d stay away.

He smiled at Joshua, as if he knew that Joshua would be here working. Come to think of it Jeonghan always showed up when Joshua was working and not when Pirnk was manning the front. Creepy. Putting down the ring that a lady wanted spelled for her daughter, Joshua got up and walked through the door to the front counter.

“How can I help you today?”

Jeonghan held up more ribbons.

Joshua almost sighed out loud at the sheer amount. “Do you have thousands of ribbons your grace?”

Jeonghan smiled at him. “I’ve had this long hair for a while now. And ribbons are a must for a clothes horse like me. And it’s Jeonghan.”

“Hmm.” Joshua waved him over. “Let’s see these today then.”

Walking over to Joshua, Jeonghan beamed at him. A bit too happy at the prospect of spending money. Oh how Joshua envied him that. He had a very small allowance that allowed him to take care of his expenses of clothes. His parents already had to fund the university fees. He hoped he’d find a good job afterwards. But he knew that his parents wanted him back home. They only agreed on the university because of his talents and they were banking that he’d come home after it was done instead of lingering in the capital.

Joshua picked them up, shaking his head as he laid one down and picked up the other. “None of these will do.” Sighing Joshua looked up at him. “When will you tire of coming back here trying to find the perfect ribbon your grace?”

“It isn’t about the perfect one,” Jeonghan argued, “it’s about finding the right sort of fabric. And I told you it’s Jeonghan.”

Pirnk walked in from the back. “Why don’t you take his grace to the weavers Joshua? So you can pick out the appropriate fabric for the spell he wants.”

“The regular weavers master?” Joshua looked at him, trying to communicate with his face how he very much didn’t want to go.

“No, you silly child,” he said laughing. “The magical ones.”

“It’ll tamper with my magic,” Joshua protested. Well if he asked them to keep the magic to a minimum he’d be able to add to it rather than it tampering but Jeonghan didn’t need to know that.

“You know as I taught you that you can work with it rather than it working against you. Don’t be so hard headed apprentice. Take his grace to the weavers and at the end of the day we’ll have a happy customer.”

Joshua glared at his master who smiled back at him. “Or course master. I’ll be back then.”

Pirnk waved goodbye as Joshua left with Jeonghan.

* * *

“The weavers?” Niko asked, interrupting Joshua’s train of thought.

“The elves. They were the best in the city and young Lord Yoon wouldn’t stay away so I took him to the best.”

Sniffing at the ribbon in Joshua’s hand, Niko said slowly as he realized something, “It’s the same color of your eyes when they glow...” He shook his head. “He bought this color knowing that?”

Joshua sighed. “He asked for this very color while looking at me. I found it odd at first.”

Niko snorted. “You were oblivious to his advances?”

“I was young,” Joshua defended, “and it wasn’t as if people were lining up to flirt with me.” He bit his lip. “I thought after I finished the spell for him he’d leave and never come back, but he didn’t. He’d come back for other things. Potions, perfumes. Always flirting and always touching. Things came to a head way when the Tying Festival was just a day away.”

Niko snorted. “That old thing. They still do it don’t they,” muttering to himself. He looked at Joshua, “He asked you. And you went.” Niko stared up at Joshua with knowing eyes. “Did you give yourself to him?”

Blushing Joshua responded, “Not fully. And I went after hours of deliberating. I almost didn’t leave my dorm room.”

“He demanded that you go, didn’t he?” Niko was so quick to push blame onto Jeonghan. Joshua knew it was to give him more reason to hate the man and Joshua thought it was cute how Niko seemed to want to hate Jeonghan down to the last hair on his body. But not all the blame was on him. Not in that lifetime.

“He stated rather than asked. But he gave me a way out.”

* * *

“Why?” Jeonghan repeated looking incredulously at Joshua. Did the mage not know? “I’m pursuing you,” he snapped, “that’s why.”

Joshua looked at him surprised. He even took a few steps back from the counter.

Jeonghan sighed as Joshua said nothing, looking down and away from him. “Here,” he said, gently laying the ribbon on the counter, “wear it tomorrow night. I’ll take it as a sign of your acceptance of my suit.”

“And if I don’t?” Joshua asked quietly.

Swallowing that bundle of nerves Jeonghan said, “Then I’ll be back for it and to say goodbye. I know enough to not continue my pursuit if I’m not welcome.”

“Then take it away now,” Joshua said. “I won’t be going.” He said it so softly as if he didn’t quite believe his words. Or so Jeonghan hoped.

“No,” Jeonghan said firmly. “I’ll look for you tomorrow night at the festival.” He took one last look at Joshua and the way he huddled into himself, wrapping his arms around himself. “Please,” he implored before leaving the store.

Joshua stared at his back, hands fisting the ribbon in despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've noticed an increasing trend to when I post things or when I update. Lots of views/readers/subscribers about five comments. And the thing is that the comments are from the same people which I love to death since they actually give me comments. I wonder a lot lately if the people reading my stuff even enjoy it since they don't seem to tell me. I've been busy so I haven't had as much time to write but I've had time. I just haven't because the silence on my updates is upsetting. I get if people are frightened but you can't expect me to keep updating for what looks to be almost no one since I don't get feedback. I don't have to keep writing to share. I spend time writing to share these stories and I share them because I know people enjoy it. Yet a lot of you don't seem to tell me that. I'm nearing the point where I feel like I should just finish what I can and then stop writing. Or just stop it all as it is. I give you my time and my work and all I ask is for a bit of yours and a few words. :/ I'll have to reconsider everything now.


	8. Memories Have too Many Thorns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is slowly poisoning me with its angst and it's painful as hell

Joshua stared at the offending ribbon. Sky blue like the way his eyes glowed Jeonghan whispered. Shuddering Joshua opened the drawer by the register ready to throw it in until Jeonghan came back for it. But his master’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

Whirling around Joshua saw Pirnk leaning against the door way.

“Master?”

“Are you certain you want to reject him?” He raised his brows, seriously asking Joshua.

Biting his lip Joshua answered, “Accepting his suit would mean nothing. He isn’t sincere.”

The brow didn’t come down. “Really now? Coming into the store almost every day to learn your schedule and to bother you to spell new ribbons when he would’ve been fine with just a few of them. Even going so far as to take you out for lunch as a token of appreciation. He’s not serious?”

“It’ll go nowhere,” Joshua argued, “the difference in status is too great. I’m just some backwater minor noble. His family will never approve.”

“And when has the difference in status ever stopped you?”

Why was his master being like this? Why was he being so annoying?

Snapping, Joshua said, “This is a different matter than that of school! It’s not worth it! He’s not worth it!” He held up the ribbon in his fist, his hand shaking, “This isn’t worth it!”

“Is that what your heart says?” Pirnk moved close, standing right in front of Joshua. “It’s not worth it? Shall I burn it then?”

Automatically Joshua stepped back. “No! You can’t!”

“But you just said it wasn’t worth it my apprentice,” he pointed out.

“It belongs to a customer,” he reasoned, clenching the ribbon tight.

“Hand it to me Joshua and I’ll take care of it.”

“Not if you’re going to burn the thing!”

“It means something but it isn’t worth it?”

God, Joshua wished he would stop asking such hard questions. Joshua didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to think about why he wouldn’t let it go. Please let him live in his denial.

“Joshua?”

“It’s not worth the broken heart!”  He screamed. The words tumbled out of his mouth, “Going to see if what he said is true isn’t worth the possible humiliation and the broken heart. It isn’t. So please. Stop asking master.” He held his arms close, the ribbon dangling, to his chest as if he could defend himself from the words.

“Oh Joshua,” Pirnk said softly. He moved the last few steps until he enveloped Joshua into an one arm hug.

Joshua clenched his fists close to his chest, trying not to shake. “It’s not worth it,” he said quietly, voice laced with uncertainty.

“Do you know,” he started, “that I too had a similar experience?” He stopped, waiting for Joshua’s attention. Smiling down at Joshua’s uncertain face he continued, “A young noble also pursued me in my youth and I also rejected him. Countless, hundreds of times. He was more shameless than your young Lord Yoon. He also asked me to go to the Tying Festival.”

“Did you go?” Joshua asked. He hated himself for asking. For even contemplating how similar it sounded and if it ended well. And if his would end well.

“I told him no and marched him out of the store myself. But somehow the bastard managed to sneak his ribbon into my pocket.” He shook his head. “I was dead set on not going. But later that night I stared out the window asking myself if I would regret not trying. I decided that I would and so I went.”

“Was it worth it?” Joshua had to know. If it was worth it.

“It was,” he said quietly, running his hand down Joshua’s head. “We married a few years later. And we lived happily. Albeit he wasn’t such a high status as your young Lord Yoon, but he still had his family problems. Even when I lost him to illness so many years later it was all worth it.” He tilted Joshua’s head up. “Don’t give up. I cannot make you go but don’t regret your decisions in life Joshua. I will be here with magic books beyond your wildest dreams if young Lord Yoon breaks your heart. It will hurt but you would’ve tried. But there will be no what ifs playing in your head, haunting you later on in life.”

Joshua clenched the ribbon too hard; he felt his nails digging into his palms.

“Go back to your dorm room and think on what I said. All right?”

“Yes master,” he whispered.

Before Joshua stepped out the door, Pirnk said one last thing, “A person never chooses a ribbon like that unless it means something. Especially one that matches your eyes.”

Nodding Joshua left the store, ribbon burning a hole in his pocket.

* * *

“It was easier,” Joshua said, as if he were in a trance, “to make a decision after hearing what master had told me. I just had to know if it was worth it.” Unconsciously his hand squeezed, his nails digging into his hand. “Love was supposed to be something a wizard could never bottle. So, to hear about it. To have it and to be able to touch it. The possibility of having it made me move.”

“No more,” Niko said.

“It was soft at first. Like petals falling on you in the spring time,” Joshua continued, not hearing him. “Then it got deeper. More passionate. We went from soft kisses to hard touches and it—“

“NO MORE!” He yowled. “You’re hurting yourself Shua!”

Joshua jerked out of his story telling. “What?”

“Your hand,” Niko hissed.

Looking down Joshua saw blood, quickly he took the ribbon away from his bleeding hand.

Niko couldn’t help but notice that.

Getting up Joshua grabbed the healing potion, pouring a few drops onto his damaged hand. “I didn’t feel it,” he whispered.

“You were too absorbed into the story. No more,” he said. “I don’t need to hear more. Not like this.”

Joshua kneeled, scooping him into his arms. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Niko said nothing, nuzzling Joshua’s face with his own. As Joshua turned and moved, Niko stared at the ribbon that started it all. Oh, how he hated it.

Joshua leaned down and picked it up, secretly glad it didn’t stain. He remembered though that he had spelled it to repel blood those many years ago. But still. Putting it back in the box, he exited his study. Niko was right. No more trips down memory lane. Not when it was filled with pain.

* * *

His night class went slow, like the honey Joshua liked to lace his herbal tea with. Especially since that herbal tea was disgusting but did wonders for magical healing.

Waving good bye to all of his students, Joshua packed up.

“It’s a full moon tonight,” Niko said looking out the window, his eyes glinting in that inhuman color. “No more magic tonight Shua.” He turned to look at him, “Please.”

Joshua shook his head. “None.” Not this full moon. Joshua didn’t trust himself to do the normal things, like strengthen potions or add layers of magic to his talisman. Not when he felt shaky.

Gently putting the leash on Niko’s collar, the two of them left the building. They walked quietly into the parking lot, Niko pulling at the leash to get them to move quicker. Something about the night bothered him. Most likely from the incidental meeting of Joshua’s old lover.

They were close to the car when someone shouted out to them.

“Professor Hong!”

Joshua turned, his heart dropping. Why did it have to be him?

Jeonghan smiled at him. “I didn’t think I’d see you again today. What luck.”

Giving a tiny smile, a polite one, Joshua hoped. “Yea. What luck.”

“Going home for dinner?”

“Yes. The first week is tiring.” He hoped to move Jeonghan along by adding the tiring part.

“Did you want to go out and eat with me? My treat.” Jeonghan smiled at Joshua.

That old familiar smile he would give him when he tried to wheedle Joshua into doing things. Why was he so similar this life time? Why couldn’t he have been different? It would’ve made everything so much easier.

“Oh. No. I’m—“

An arm looped around his shoulders. “He’s having dinner with me.” Soonyoung smiled.

“Soonyoung,” Joshua said, inwardly grateful his friend was here. “I thought you were going to meet me at my place.”

He smiled, his eyes disappearing. “Decided to meet you here instead. Is that a problem?”

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, cutting in. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you had plans. Maybe next time?”

Joshua turned, giving Jeonghan a faint smile. “Maybe.” Saved by his favorite faerie.

Soonyoung waved, before moving Joshua and Niko to their car.

* * *

Jeonghan frowned as the three of them left. Was Joshua taken? He didn’t protest to the other man’s touch and Niko even rubbed himself against the man’s legs. A close friend? A lover? Jeonghan would have to find out.

Something drew him to Joshua. He didn’t know what, but something compelled him to keep trying to find the other man. And Jeonghan wasn’t protesting.


	9. Talks Amongst Friends

“Are you ok?” Soonyoung looked at him. In the car his eyes glowed, flashing as if he were ready to wreak Fae mischief.

Niko meowed. Today was just an all around bad day and Joshua looked absolutely wrecked. “Shua,” he said plaintively.

“Later,” he said, fingers tightening on the wheel. “Not here.”

“It has something to do with that guy?”

Soonyoung never let things go. Something that Joshua hated. The Fae always somehow knew where to hit where it hurt the most and had an incessant curiosity.

“Please,” he said, stressing the word, “not here.”

Niko bit Soonyoung in warning. “He said later,” hissing a bit.

Soonyoung himself hissed, in pain. “Christ Niko. You didn’t have to bite.”

He moved hopping into Joshua’s lap gracefully, even in a moving car. “You Fae never know when to quit. That pesky habit of yours that makes you tease and torment humans. He said stop.” Eyes glowing red, he warned, “Or else.”

Nursing his wound, Soonyoung sighed. “So protective over your master.”

Niko hissed.

Joshua said nothing; his lips thinning impossibly.

Soonyoung had never seen him so shaken before. He placed his hand on Joshua’s thigh, “It’ll be all right.”

Joshua wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe Soonyoung so much. But Jeonghan’s presence in his life once again meant that the thread of Fate and Destiny were being woven once again. One or both of them were working against him and Joshua had struggled to win the last few lifetimes of not seeing Jeonghan at all. And he feared he wouldn’t win now.

“Get one of the menus from our favorite take out place,” Joshua said, taking off his shoes. “I’m too tired to cook.”

“Awww,” Soonyoung whined, “no home made cooking tonight?”

Joshua shook his head. “No. I’m exhausted.” He made his way up the stairs, “I’m going to change and put my things away. I’ll be right down.”

“Got it,” Soonyoung said. “I’ll grab some wine too.”

Quickly, Joshua changed and chucked his bag on the bed. He had to hide the box before Soonyoung’s stupid habit would make him find the pulsating magic that was left out in the open. Joshua didn’t want to talk about it. Not anymore.

He moved into the study quietly, closing the door. The stupid ribbon twinkled back at him. It seemed so harmless lying there on his desk. But the pain and the tears he had wept on it. What joy could he feel from that thing anymore?

Grabbing it he threw it in the box, sliding open his drawer protected with magic shields away from prying eyes. No more he told Niko. He always kept his promises. Always. Unlike a certain someone who had promised him things but didn’t keep them in the end. Closing that drawer, he hoped for the last time before he died this lifetime, he looked up to see Soonyoung open the door.

Joshua smiled faintly at him. “Done ordering?”

“Yea,” Soonyoung answered, giving Joshua a bright smile. “Niko said you’d be here most likely.”

“Just putting away some things.” Putting away important things to remind him. Always to remind him to not make the same mistakes. “Let’s go talk.”

Leading Soonyoung and Niko out of his study, Joshua kept his eyes forward. It was time to stop looking into the past. The past only held pain and memories best left buried.

* * *

 

“Why the hell are you sulking?” Seungcheol muttered as he took a swig from his beer bottle.

“I met the cute Professor Hong again today. Going home from lecture.” Jeonghan’s face was grim, deep in thought. But he too took a drink out of his bottle.

“Shouldn’t that make you happy?” Then again Seungcheol had told Jeonghan to keep his dick in his pants and think with his brain and focus on securing the job not running after cute fellow teachers.

“He was leaving with someone,” Jeonghan said, worrying at his finger. “He was walking with his cat on a leash, which was cute as fuck. But he declined my invitation to dinner. Because this one dude showed up and they seemed close.” He scowled.

Seungcheol sighed. “Maybe he’s just a friend. As far as my ears know Professor Hong is single.”

Jeonghan whipped around, staring him down. “And who’s your little informant then?”

“Jihoon,” Seungcheol said, stabbing at his food. “He’s in his class and he says that Professor Hong has never told them of any relationship or mentioned any significant other. And that the love of his life is basically teaching and his cat.”

“That cat was friendly with him too,” Jeonghan added quietly. “He hissed and swiped at me when I tried to get near him.”

“The cat isn’t friendly,” Seungcheol said. “I’ve seen it around and it doesn’t like being touched at all.”

“That means the other guy and Joshua are close.” He chugged down the rest of his pitiful half bottle of beer. “Shit.”

“You’re taking this awfully seriously for a guy you just met. Why so attached already?” And Seungcheol really was curious. Why was Jeonghan so attached to Joshua already? He barely knew the man. And while Joshua was a looker there was no reason to be so into him.

Slowly Jeonghan tried to explain. “It’s like instinct. Every time I’m near him I just want to get close.” He shook his head. “Hell, even when I’m not close I feel this tug. Like if I follow that tugging feeling I’ll find him and it’ll stop.” He ran a hand through his hair. “When I see him,” he paused trying to find the right words when they were on the tip of his tongue, “it’s like everything is right in the world and that void I’ve been trying to fill is gone.” Jeonghan stared into the wall, eyes lost. “He makes my heart sing and I know it’s weird. But he feels like the one.”

Seungcheol stared at him. Jeonghan had never ever said that about any of his other lovers. He stayed with some long and others for a short period of time. But he had never said that they felt like the one. Never. And his friend had been trying to fill that hole in his heart for a long time. Seungcheol sighed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but,” letting out a rush of air, “go get him then. Woo him and see if he is the one.”

Jeonghan laughed. “Definitely.” He gripped his jeans, his face alight with joy. “Being near him feels right and it’s so fucking nice to feel that.”

“Don’t scare him away then,” Seungcheol warned.

“You and Jihoon need to help me gather intel. I’ll need all the info I can get on him. I need this to be a giant success.”

“I’ll see what Jihoon can do for you.”

“Thanks.”

* * *

 

In Joshua’s sealed drawer, down the hallway from his bedroom, a certain sky blue ribbon glowed, as if it heard the call of its original master and it knew destiny was calling to it. The motions of time kept going forward, and it knew it had a role to play once again.


	10. Running Away, of Sorts

Clutching at his bag, Joshua tried not to fidget.

Jeonghan though was happy as a clam getting out of the carriage. “Hello Jones.”

The head of the staff bowed. “It’s nice to see you once again my lord. Welcome home.”

Holding out a hand for Joshua, Jeonghan waited.

Joshua put his left hand in Jeonghan’s open one, and walked out of the carriage, biting his lip. Taking in the house, he sighed internally. Yet another clear difference between him and Jeonghan. The fact that Jeonghan had his own small household away from his family spoke volumes of his family’s wealth. Would they even accept Joshua? He was just a minor noble with magical talent. He had little else to his name beyond his own skills. But meeting Jeonghan’s family was something to think about at a later time. Jeonghan had said he wouldn’t be meeting them until the new season began and they made their way into the city.

With a wide grin on his face, Jeonghan declared, “My fiancé,” fingers intertwined with Joshua’s in a manner very reminiscent to when Joshua had let Jeonghan get close at the night of the Tying Ceremony.

Seeing that huge happy smile on his face, Joshua let go of his lip, and ignored the urge to pull away from him. Even if Joshua was nervous, clearly Jeonghan was just so damn ecstatic about their new status.

Jones, bowed in front of Joshua. “My lord.”

Joshua opened his mouth to protest but Jeonghan tugged at him, moving towards the open doors.

“Let’s go inside. I’ll show you our rooms.”

He gave Joshua that heart stopping smile. The one that calmed his nerves and made Joshua smile right back at him. “Ok,” he replied, nodding.

“You’ll love them. If you don’t we can redecorate. Whatever you’d like,” Jeonghan rambled, “I want you to be happy.”

“But I am happy with you,” Joshua said.

Jeonghan stopped his walking and turned around. Eyes serious, he gently touched Joshua’s face and kissed him on the lips, in full view of half of his servants. He pulled away, leaning his forehead on Joshua’s, “And I’ll keep making you happy. Promise.”

Humming, Joshua held onto Jeonghan’s arms, content in the warmth and the love.

* * *

“Shua.”

Joshua whined into his pillow. “Go’way Jeonghan,” he mumbled, “it’s too early.”

“Shua!”

He felt a tail lash out at his cheek and a prick of nails. He sat up, heart racing.

Niko sat on Joshua’s lap, his tail lashing out. “Hmph. You’ll be late for class if you don’t get up now.”

“Thanks Niko.” Joshua tamped down on the urge to shudder. Why did he dream of him? Why did he remember that? There was no reason to go down memory lane anymore. It’d do him no good. So why?

“What were you dreaming off?” He hopped off Joshua’s lap onto the floor, stretching. “You smiled so happily.”

“I can’t remember,” Joshua said, moving out from under his blankets.

Niko yawned. “Must’ve been good though.”

Joshua nodded. “It probably was.” His heart whispered liar. It had been the best; a long time ago it had been. Now, it felt like a knife twisting in his heart.

“Let’s get to class. Time to teach little younglings,” Niko said, a smirk on his kitty face.

Letting out a small barking laugh, Joshua said, “You’re so excited? Why?”

Niko flashed a bit of teeth and bounded towards him as Joshua moved into the bathroom. “Scaring them is fun,” he said, rubbing himself against Joshua’s legs. He dodged Joshua’s falling clothes, “Not to mention I want to see how they cower after the other’s day little display.”

“Playing right to your demon heritage,” Joshua tsked. Turning on the water in the shower, he said, “They’re babies practically in terms of magic. Don’t turn them away from it.”

Niko said nothing but let himself get wet along with Joshua, washing himself in the spray of water.

Joshua nudged him lightly with his foot, a slight smile on his face as he shampooed his hair.

* * *

Joshua loved his first class. It was easy and fun to teach, even if half of them were still sleepy or sleeping. One would think a 9 am class would be relatively easy yet there were always so many sleepy faces. But Joshua was a morning person, he didn’t understand the want to sleep past twelve unless he was ridiculously hungover. Something he hadn’t done in a long time. He couldn’t do that anymore either. Too many lifetimes of drinking led to an increased alcohol tolerance, a good thing sometimes. A bad thing other times.

A bad thing considering yesterday. But best not dwell on that now. He had business to take care of. Waving goodbye to the straggler students he left the classroom, making double time to the department head’s office. His department anyhow. That specific little part of the anthropology department that housed the magic classes and its students.

Barging into the door of Howard’s office, he nearly shouted, “I need a classroom change. Now.”

Howard blinked at him, confusion written all over his face. “A classroom change?”

“The one for 303. By today. Please.” Joshua wanted to slam his hands down on the table to get his desperation across but going by the look on Howard’s face, Joshua’s desperation was quite clear.

“And what should I write down as the reason?” Good ole Howard loaded the paperwork online and started to fill it in.

“It’s too large for the class size. I don’t need anything that big at all.” Joshua let out a small sigh of relief watching Howard type away.

“You know,” he said softly, continuing his typing, “if you had said yes to being department head you could’ve been making your own rearrangements instead of asking me.”

Crossing his arms, Joshua sighed. “And have no one take me seriously?” He looked at Howard incredulously. “You know as well as I do that me being young would have raised so many eyebrows and no one would take me serious. They’d all whisper nepotism and all that shit.”

“But the ones who know anything about this department know that you are the one with the most experience. Youthful image or not.” Howard let out a small hum as his own familiar rubbed her head against his arm.

“I have plenty of things to worry about and things to do then spend my time schmoozing with the other department heads and sponsors. You’re better at it than me,” Joshua scoffed.

Giving Joshua a wry smile, Howard shook his head. “Thanks for calling me a good kiss up.”

“It’s all about your status in the magical world Howard,” Mina chirped, “you should know that.” The robin clicked her beak and nipped at Howard’s skin. “Silly human.”

Joshua snickered. Mina was always a sassy little familiar, probably to make up for her small size.

“Thank you for the refresher Mina darling.” A few taps and a few clicks and Howard looked up at Joshua. “All done.”

“Just reminding you. We all know Joshua’s more known than you. Revered almost in a sense.” Mina let out a little snicker as Howard’s face dropped.

“Mina,” Joshua called softly, “there’s no need to disparage your master so. He’s perfectly fine.”

She fluttered her wings. “But when big things happen in the magical world they come to see you first about problem students and for help. Yet you’re content with being just a teacher. Everyone always wonders why.”

“And sometimes, Mina,” Howard said, taking her softly into his hands, “there are things that a person keeps to themselves. Joshua has his reasons for not taking this position and for not leaving the school. We shouldn’t be so nosy.”

She chirped huffily in his hands, but quieted down. Howard looked up at him. “You know you can talk to me if you need anything, right? More powerful than me or not I’m here if you need me.”

Joshua nodded. “Thanks. But this one I need to solve myself. You did a lot for me already changing the classroom for me.”

Howard stared at him for a good minute, trying to analyze him for lies no doubt. But in the end, he nodded. “Ok. You’re an adult. Baby face or not. I get it. Tell Niko I said hi.”

“Of course. And you Mina?”

Mina chirped angrily. “That bad kitty won’t get anything from me.” She ruffled her feathers and puffed up angrily.

Joshua laughed. “Bye Mina, Howard.”

Howard watched as Joshua left his office. “That guy. Always keeping things to himself.”

Mina hopped up his arm. “You said that sometimes a person keeps things to themselves and we can’t be nosy. So, if Joshua wants to keep his problems to himself we have no choice.”

“You’re right,” he said, gently stroking Mina. “He just looks so sad and it hurts that I can’t help.”

“Niko’s got it,” she said in a tiny huff, “even if that kitty is evil. He takes of Joshua well.” Howard nodded, stroking her tiny body, hoping for the best for Joshua.

* * *

Niko let out a sneeze. “Who in the world?” He sneezed once again, rubbing his nose into his bed. “I swear when I find out who’s talking about me…” he said trailing off. He got up and stretched. “Time to meet Shua for class.” He laughed. “The little younglings will be fun.”

* * *

“He’s single,” Jihoon said flatly, before taking a sip from his cup.

“Are you sure?” Jeonghan was paying good money for this little info session, and if Jihoon got shit wrong…well Jeonghan was above dirty tactics. He knew lots of shit about Seungcheol.

Jihoon nodded once again. “All Professor Hong is involved with is his teaching, his cat, and the small number of friends he has. None of which he has ever told us about.” Jihoon left out the part about magic and the times Professor Hong spent nights brewing things or making spells and conducting rituals. Jeonghan was a nonmagical. It was better that he say nothing at all. If Jeonghan ever got that close to Professor Hong that was something he’d tell him.  

“And the cat?” Jeonghan made sure to keep the tone of desperate out of his voice. He didn’t need to air to Jihoon just how much he wanted, needed to know.

“Niko?” Jihoon raised a brow. “Professor Hong’s cat. He’s friendly after a while. Except to some people. Rumor had it was that if you didn’t get along with Niko, Prof didn’t get along with you. Like he used Niko as some sort of indicator.”

“But that’s only rumors, right? Not the truth?”

Nodding, Jihoon sipped again. “Yea,” he said, pulling the cup away, “it’s just a rumor I heard when I came into the school.”

“Thank god,” Jeonghan said, sagging into his chair. “I thought I might be done for when he took a swipe at me.”

“You’re awfully invested in prof,” Jihoon said slowly, questioning him.

“There’s something that draws me to him,” Jeonghan said. “Anymore is too personal to try and explain. You might be dating Seungcheol but we aren’t exactly close. Not yet. So, excuse me if I’m going to keep that to myself.”

Jihoon nodded. “Fair enough. You’ll have a hard time anyhow. Prof hasn’t dated anyone in a long time as far as all of us know. He’s almost celibate.”

“I’ll work my own type of magic,” Jeonghan said smiling.

Snorting Jihoon, tried not to laugh. Magic. Yea, magic indeed.


	11. Magic and Mischief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how long has it been? quite a few months. but can't help that. this story is rather soul sucking and i don't like that part

“Magic,” Joshua said, holding his chalk stick aloft, “comes from within. Remember?” He smiled as heads nodded. “As the first lesson went it was rather technical and full of paperwork. Not including that _little_ demonstration that got out of hand.” Joshua gave Niko a small glare. His familiar, simply washed his paws, playing like he was a house cat and not a demon cat. “Today you’ll be doing some magic. Intentional magic,” he said, chuckling.

Jun snickered off to the side.

“We’ll go into detail about magic and how it happens unintentionally.” Slowly, he brought his hands together and moved them away, letting a medium sized orb of light. Bright and full, Joshua let the orb go. “Making light is simple and one of the spells children used to learn as they grow up.” He smiled at some of the awed faces. “Let’s begin.”

 

* * *

“Yes,” Joshua said, “exactly like that. Make it a bit bigger if you can.” He patted Yeeun on the back. “Good job.”

Moving on, he lifted an eyebrow as he saw Jun encourage Seungkwan to try and make the light into a different shape. It looked like a squiggly line. “More finesse and a little less power,” Joshua called out. “Shapes take some concentration but also a level of control. You need to know when to temper the energy or else it won’t come out like you want.”

“I tried telling him but it doesn’t seem to be working,” Jun replied.

“It’s fine if you can’t. Practice some more and you’ll get it.”

Seungkwan brows furrowed. There was a look on his face that Joshua remembered all too well. That determination and drive to keep going until he did what he wanted to do. Joshua had stared at that face in the mirror one too many times and had seen it across many students faces.

“Time and practice Seungkwan. Take it slow or you’ll burn out. You’ll get there.” Joshua smiled softly, “Promise.”

He nodded.

 

* * *

“Professor.”

Joshua looked up from gathering his belongings. “Oh. Chan. What can I do for you today?” The boy was an eager learner. Joshua spent quite a bit of time answering his questions as the students tried to master their first bit of magic. It was rather refreshing.

He bit his lip, his cheeks reddening a bit. “I-,” he paused. “I have a weird question and you’re the only magic teacher I’ve had.”

Waving his hand, Joshua prompted him to go on.

“How do you tell someone who doesn’t have magic that you do?”

Niko looked up from the spot he made for himself on the desk. A kitty smirk made its way across his face. “Does the little mageling have a significant other? Someone he needs to tell about his new talents?”

“Niko,” Joshua scolded, “don’t tease him.”

Snorting, Niko padded towards them.

“No,” Chan said, shaking his head. “A family member. We’re cousins. He’s like my older brother. An annoying one at times but yea.”

“And you want to know how to approach the subject of you having magic?” Joshua tilted his head to the side. He folded his arms.

“Yea. I’m sort of living with him now and I don’t know if I can hide it either.” Chan gave Joshua a desperate sort of look. “Help.”

Sadly, Joshua shook his head. “Talking about magic to nonusers is dangerous. Family or not.” He sighed, hands wrapping around his elbows. “There are guides that the council gives and even firsthand knowledge and experience if you’re planning to join the Society of Magelings here on campus. But I’d advise you not to tell him.”

“Why not?” His forehead wrinkled, eyebrows dipping into a V.

“You live with him currently and if he were to somehow not take the new well…” Trailing off, Joshua gave Chan a serious look. “The council would have to deal with him. Assess the damage and either wipe his memory or wipe him from the world if he’s magic resistant.”

“What?!”

“The Council takes its job seriously. It is here to protect magic and the users of magic. If you’re cousin blabbed to the wrong people they would take whatever action they deemed necessary,” Joshua explained. “It’s better not to tell him so you don’t risk his life,” he warned.

“And what about practice then?” He shook his head. “Where can I practice if I don’t want him finding it out?”

“When he’s at work. With your door shut. Barriers can be erected around your room to give you privacy. The school department provides them free of charge to students who don’t want to tell their families. Or if you’d like we have our own special area in parts of the campus just for magelings.” Joshua rummaged around in his bag, trying to look for one of the fliers. Sighing, he came out empty. “I’d go in and grab the info packets from the department’s office. I don’t have any one me.”

“Are you sure that I can’t—”

Holding up a hand, Joshua stopped him. “Listen,” he said softly, “I understand the need to tell him. But you are putting yourself and him in danger. And then the rest of us as well. We magic users as a practice don’t tell nonusers.”

“I heard there was a process though. In case they talked.”

Niko snickered. “There is. A long arduous process of paperwork and having one of the many council workers tail you and your loved ones for a time to make sure it is even worth the spell it would take to seal their mouths shut.” He licked his fangs. “It can be done child, but it is only ever granted for a select few. Enough have tried only to get denied. It isn’t worth it and keeping the magic a secret is fun anyhow.”

His head fell. “I see,” he said dejectedly.

Joshua’s patted him on the shoulder. “The Council has absolute power of these matters. I can’t help you here I’m afraid. Very few students have told their families if they don’t come from a long line of magic.”

Chan’s hand gripped the strap of his backpack, the knuckles turning white. “Thank you for your time professor. I got to meet with my cousin for lunch.”

“Have a nice day Chan,” Joshua said softly as the boy slipped out from under his hand and speed walked out of the classroom.

Snorting, Niko watched him leave. “Silly child. Magic and the outside world never mixes well. History could’ve told him that much.”

“He’s a child who’s a first-time magic learner. It’s exciting and he wants to share,” Joshua said. “Perfectly understandable.”

“You should know the history well Shua,” Niko said. “It never works out well and we’re left to pick up the ruins of our community.”

Staring out the window, Joshua remembered faraway places, memories from lives ago. A fire, screaming, blood flowing everywhere. “Yes. It never does.”

 

* * *

“Hey kid,” Jeonghan said, waving at Chan. “Come on. Lunch is on me today.”

“You’re the one with the steady job now,” Chan said ruefully, “it better be.”

Jeonghan laughed. “I buy the groceries too. Don’t get bratty with me or else I’ll let you starve,” he teased.

“I’ll just have to tell my mom on you then. Wait,” he snickered, “I’ll just tell Auntie and then she’ll call you to chew you out.”

Groaning, Jeonghan wrapped an arm around Chan’s shoulders, bringing his hand up to ruffle his hair, messing it up. “Don’t bring my mom into this you little monster. Who taught you to be so shrewd?”

“You,” Chan said, ducking out from under his hand, sticking his tongue out at Jeonghan childishly. “You taught me a lot of survival skills.”

“Your tongue should only be out to the person you want to be sticking said tongue down their throat,” Jeonghan said, smiling wickedly at Chan’s blush and how quickly he retracted it.

“Hyung!”

Jeonghan threw his head back and laughed.

 

* * *

“Get to class,” Jeonghan said, reaching out to ruffle Chan’s hair once again to his annoyance.

Groaning, Chan pushed the hand away. “I got it. Stop babying me.”

“Auntie would kill me if I let her eldest child skip class,” Jeonghan said in protest. “Do you want to disappoint your mom?”

“Noo,” Chan said whining a bit. “But you should trust me to go to class by myself.”

Jeonghan hummed, nodding. “True. Give you some independence and all that.”

“Exactly,” he said, “I got to go anyhow. I don’t need reminders from you. See you at home later tonight hyung.” He waved before jogging off into the other direction of the café.

“Kids,” Jeonghan muttered.

Walking down the street, he stopped at the light, waiting for the walk sign to turn green.

The next few moments happened fast. He heard a familiar voice screaming out.

“Niko!”

Jeonghan looked up, seeing that gray blue cat that belonged to a Mr. Joshua Hong pelt out from the other side into oncoming traffic.

Jeonghan was sporty kind of dude. He played for fun and was relatively good at it. It made him agile and quick. Which is why he sped out and ran to grab the cat. He dodged a car and rolled, scooping Niko up into his arms.

A screech was heard. Jeonghan felt himself being hit. The cat yowled something bad, scratching at his arms, and the two of them flew a few feet ahead.


	12. Stop, Please Don't go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do i know where this is going? Still a giant fat no.

Jeonghan groaned, he didn’t feel like complete shit but he did just roll up on a car and then back down onto asphalt. Rather hard too. Screams were everywhere and a lot of noise.  And one voice stood out from the rest, like a beacon calling Jeonghan home.

“Niko! Jeonghan!”

If Jeonghan’s head was so concussed that he heard a certain desperation in Joshua’s voice, well, there was nothing wrong with that. Let a guy dream a little. Ambulance sounds could be heard. He felt hands, gentle big hands on his face. And a rather still cat in his arms.

“God,” Joshua’s shaky voice said, “let them be all right.”

Jeonghan heard a ragged breath. Damn. Was Joshua crying?

“Please.”

Pity Jeonghan chose that moment to knock out. He just couldn’t stay awake anymore.

* * *

Jeonghan came to slowly, his eyes fluttering. The scent of antiseptic and the utter _clean_ of what was only a hospital assaulted his nose. “Fuck,” he groaned.

“The doctors said you’re lucky to get off with just some bruising and a few scraps for the stunt you pulled,” Joshua said quietly.

Jeonghan wanted to roll over to look at him but he still felt a bit muzzy. “Then why do I feel like crap,” Jeonghan croaked.

“Pain,” Joshua said his voice calm and icy cold. “You’re extremely lucky that you didn’t crack your head open on the concrete,” he hissed. “And that there wasn’t any internal bleeding.”

“I saved your cat,” Jeonghan argued softly.

It got quiet then. He heard rustling.

“Thank you for that,” Joshua whispered over the beeping Jeonghan’s heartbeat monitor. His voice took on that ragged edge Jeonghan heard before he passed out, “But it was stupid. If that car hit you two any harder then I would’ve lost the bo—”

Jeonghan eyes finally listened to him and opened the fuck up. Joshua sat on the chair next to his hospital bed, lips thin and his eyes narrowed. Even in his pain his fellow professor made a lovely picture. “Sorry,” Jeonghan said, pitching his voice low, in a comforting tone. “How is Niko?”

“He’s fine. A broken leg but the vet says he’ll heal.” Joshua stood up, rather abruptly in Jeonghan’s opinion. “I owe you for saving him.” He took a shuddering breathe in, like whatever he was going to say pained him beyond belief. “Call me if you decide you need something I can help you with.” Pressing a piece of paper into Jeonghan’s hands, Joshua turned on his heel and left.

Waiting for his brain to comprehend everything, Jeonghan lay there, clutching at the scrap paper Joshua left him with.

He took stock of what transpired. First, he rescued Joshua’s cat. Second, he and Niko got hit by the car and were sent flying. Third, Joshua said that he owed Jeonghan. Fourth, he left his number for Jeonghan. And fifth, good god. Fifth was that he got Joshua’s damn number! He’d squeal in delight if it wasn’t for the pain.

Jeonghan deflated fast though. He only got the number because Joshua felt like he owed him for saving Niko. To abuse the number to get to know Joshua was a quick way to get blocked. But what else could he do? Ask for Joshua to go out for dinner as a means to pay his debt? That was so cliché and childish. And really underhanded. Fuck. Should he?

“Hyung?!” Chan barged in, out of breath. “Are you ok?”

“After that warm greeting you’d wake the dead,” Jeonghan said as dryly as possible. “Pipe down. You’ll get us kicked out of the hospital.”

“Oh,” he wilted into the chair that Joshua had just occupied, “you’re awake. Thank god.”

Jeonghan opened his mouth but before he could say anything someone came in.

“Perfect,” she said with a grin. “You’re awake. I’m Dr. Kim.” She looked at Chan, “And you have a visitor even.”

“Cousin,” Chan said, softer this time around.

Nodding, she took the clipboard at the foot of Jeonghan’s bed. “That’s nice. You’re his first visitor of the day. We worried a bit that no one would get here in time.”

First? But Joshua sat on that very chair just a couple of minutes ago. “First? There was no one else?” Jeonghan stared at her, trying to see if she was lying. And he would know, he was a rather accomplished liar himself.

“Indeed,” she said, flipping the pages before looking back up at him. “The nurses were worrying if we couldn’t contact anyone family for you. But it seems they were just overreacting a bit. You’re miraculously quite all right. Minus a few bumps here and there.”

“What happened?” Chan bore his eyes into Jeonghan.

Too busy with his thoughts, Jeonghan didn’t answer. If Chan was the first visitor he had then how did Joshua get into his room. Did Jeonghan imagine his presence? Was he that interested that he thought up of Joshua? Clenching his fist, Jeonghan frowned.

Ah. No, he didn’t. Feeling that crumple of paper, he looked down into his palm. Joshua gave him his number. Jeonghan didn’t imagine him at all. Maybe the nurses just didn’t bother to take Joshua’s name down. Or the doctor simply didn’t look at the visitor’s list well enough. Yea, that’s what happened.

“He got hit by a car,” Dr. Kim explained. “Rolled right off of it and into the asphalt.”

“How? Were you not looking Jeonghan hyung?” Chan’s eyeballs looked ready to come out of their sockets he opened them so wide.

“I was saving a cat,’ Jeonghan said.

“A cat?! You risked your life for a cat? I get trying to save an animal, but hyung you risked your life, for a cat.”

Normally, Jeonghan wouldn’t have been so harsh. He knew Chan didn’t mean it the way he did, but something in him just snapped. “It wasn’t just a cat! He’s important to him.” There was a steely edge to his voice that was rarely heard. Jeonghan watched as Chan flinched and shrank into the chair.

“Well now,” Dr. Kim said. “He’s perfectly fine. Just bruises. No internal bleeding, no concussion. Almost a clean bill of health. We’ll release you in a couple of hours as other tests come back and we run a few more.” She turned on her heel and left the two of them in the room.

* * *

At home, Joshua sat on his chair, breathing in deep, slowly to stop himself from shuddering. In between his fingers dangled the ribbon that Jeonghan gifted to him many centuries ago.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The funny thing about this story is that the last time i updated was basically about one week before i started my job. it's literally been about almost 7 months since. don't know when the next update shall be, no comments will definitely not expedite the next update either, something that i noticed with this story :/


	13. There I go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: an interlude. of sorts. i was writing and this felt like the right place to end this particular part. it's a segway i guess

“You’re staying home the entire time you’re healing.,” Joshua said, glaring at his familiar. “And before you say anything I won’t heal you. You did something stupid, endangering not only your life but someone innocent as well.”

Niko looked to the side, a surly pout on his kitty face.

“There is no justification for what you did. No matter your intentions what you did was wrong,” Joshua scolded. “And for that this is your punishment.”

“He hurt you,” Niko muttered, still unwilling to go down without a fight.

“And you could’ve gotten him killed,” Joshua snapped. “You could’ve seriously hurt yourself more than you did now. Nothing is worth endangering a human’s life. The consequences that would’ve befallen you! And me!” Joshua yelled.

The demon cat shook.

“You forgot didn’t you? The council would’ve investigated us both and then punished us.” Joshua shook his head. “You let your anger get out of control. I shouldn’t have told you.”

Chastised, he slunk away, opting to go for his kitty bed rather than following Joshua to his bed.

Sighing, Joshua walked over and bent down, reaching a hand out to pet him, but Niko turned away, curling into himself. He withdrew his hand. “What you did wasn’t acceptable, and you sulking about it is even more ridiculous. Think about it. Good night Niko.”

* * *

“Where’s Niko?” Jun looked around the classroom, trying to find the demon cat.

“At home,” Joshua answered, “he got hurt and I refuse to heal him.”

“Ooh. He deserved it?”

Setting up, Joshua nodded. “Something like that. Class will be fine without him as he heals.” He handed Jun a stack of papers. “Two each.”

Jun saluted Joshua, taking the stack. “He must be in a little sulk.”

Joshua made a noise, indicating yes. Niko had stayed in his kitty bed, refusing to look at Joshua as he said his goodbyes this morning. He had taken Joshua’s ear scratches though.

Pausing, Joshua wondered how Jeonghan was. But he quickly pushed those thoughts away. It would be stupid of him to go down that road again with Jeonghan. if he didn’t call Joshua all the better. Even if he secretly hoped, deep down that Jeonghan would call. Just so he could make sure the other man was all right.

His students trickled in, one by one. Marking them off on his attendance sheet, Joshua raised his brows as Chan was missing for the day. Was he second guessing his choice thanks to Joshua’s answer the other day? Joshua marked the box of absent, making note to see if Chan was going to be absent again. If he was, it meant that Joshua would have to have a talk a with him about his future in the magic world.

* * *

Jeonghan grinned as Chan put down a bowl of rice and soup.

“Here,” he said, a bit aggressively. “Eat and get better.”

Chuckling, Jeonghan explained once more what the doctor told them. “She said I was fine. Just a bit bruised. I could go teach today you know.”

Chan glared. “And I’m saying at least take the one day off. It’ll be fine. Cancel class for one day. You already called the school. Now rest.”

He held up his hands, surrendering. “Ok, ok. I’ll eat and rest. Auntie would be so proud to see you being all aggressive and caring.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t do stupid shit hyung,” he narrowed his eyes.

Jeonghan ate a spoonful, nodding as it wasn’t overly spicy this time. “I had my reasons. You don’t get to doubt them. I’m the adult here not you.”

“Adults don’t get themselves injured,” Chan muttered. “Especially not by running into oncoming traffic.”

Jeonghan shook his head, not bothering to argue. Let the kid think he was an idiot. He remembered watching the cat dart out and the feeling that he just had to save him. That if he didn’t, he’d lose something important.

It wasn’t so much as that Niko was important. But how important he was to Joshua. Jeonghan didn’t think too hard on it, going down that path would lead to too many questions and not enough answers. There was just a gut feeling that if Joshua cried it’d hurt Jeonghan. If Joshua cried because of him, good god, Jeonghan wouldn’t know what he would do.

It was a scary thought. He barely knew the other man but he felt so drawn to him, almost like they were tied together. Jeonghan never felt like this before in his life and it scared him. But the tugging he felt, the need to be close to Joshua overpowered that fear. He knew he’d be making that call soon.

 


	14. I Said Only the Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some progress is had

Jeonghan hummed as he cooked. He ignored the way Chan's eyes bore into him from the couch. "I was let go with a clean bill of health," he drawled, giving the stir fry a quick stir. "The doctor said nothing was wrong at all and if I managed to feel any pain whatsoever to take one of the pills."

Chan snorted. "Doesn't mean I can't look at you. You're my hyung. I can stare all I want." 

Jeonghan cooed. "Awww, Channie. I knew you loved me."

"Yah," he said dryly. "Don't take my concern and turn it into teasing."

Shutting off the stove, Jeonghan plated their dinner. "I'm fine you know. X-rays came back clear, nothing wrong. Nada. Zip. Zilch."

"But how does a person get hit by a car and then be fine," Chan grumbled. "It's weird."

"The doctor says it can happen. And that it was likely due to the way I hit the car," Jeonghan explained for the upteenth time. "Listen. I get the concern, but it's getting old. I'm good to go kid. Now come and eat before I put it all in my stomach and leave you to go hungry."

"I'm going to tell auntie that you threatened that," he said, getting up. 

"Sure, you will," Jeonghan shot back, "it'll make you look like a kid and everyone knows how much you hate doing that."

Chan stuck his tongue out, taking a seat at the table. "Wait until you get that call from auntie."

Jeonghan snorted, seating himself across from Chan. "I'll wait. Until I'm dead and I still wouldn't get that call."

Chan said nothing, choosing to stuff his mouth. 

Jeonghan let his mind wander. He knew that Joshua visited him. The number in his phone told him so. He hadn't been able to get it from anyone he knew. And the timing of when it showed up coincided with his stint in the hospital. 

So why did the visitor records not show that Joshua had come to visit him. Did he bypass the nurses that easily? Was there not a single nurse to make him stop?

He shook his head, picking up his chopsticks. It didn't matter. Jeonghan had a number now. And he had already texted Joshua too. All he had to do now was wait for a reply. That was the hardest part. 

* * *

Joshua stared down at the text notification. He hesitated. He feared what it contained, because there was no doubt on who it came from. Just like the mysterious feeling that always tugged him Jeonghan lifetime after lifetime, something just set off alarms in Joshua's head that was from him. He just didn't want anything to do with Jeonghan anymore. 

It was hard to not associate his former lover with anything but pain. And here he was purposely putting himself back into contact with the person he had tried so hard to run from. Fate had it out for him. He was sure of it.

God. No. He could do this. Sitting up straight, he steeled himself. It was just a text. Maybe Jeonghan didn't want anything from him at all. 

Tapping on the messages, he opened it. 

'Hey. Thanks for visiting me in the hospital. And I know you're not exactly excited to be in debt with me. But give me a chance. I beg of you. Just one night and if I can't charm you then I'll leave you alone. I swear.'

Eyes closing, Joshua felt his heart thud harder than normal. If he tried, no he was just lying to himself; he could hear it. He could hear the text, like Jeonghan was speaking it out loud, in front of him. It was like all those times from before, when Joshua tired of being burnt tried to stay away. And Jeonghan, charming, flirty Jeonghan came up to him begging just for one chance. 

Like the one lifetime Joshua had been a prince and Jeonghan the ambassador from a neighboring country. 

* * *

Jeonghan kneeled. “Won’t give you me the one chance my beloved prince?” He gazed up at Joshua, eyes alit with something that scared Joshua.

Not in the way that meant him bodily harm, but with a devotion that Joshua was sure would one day hurt him. 

“I’m not your prince,” he retorted, moving to walk away from him. Ambassador or not, Joshua was a prince and he didn’t have to listen to his demands. 

“No, but you’re the keeper of my heart.” 

Joshua stopped. He whirled around, snorting at Jeonghan. “Pretty words will get you no where Ambassador Yoon. Especially in negotiations. The more you try to play me the worse it will be for your country.”

“I wouldn’t play around with the matters of the heart your highness.” Jeonghan looked at him fiercely. “I swear it on my father’s grave.”

Well, well. Everyone knew what high regards Ambassador Yoon had for his father. To swear it on his freshly dug grave. “And if at the end of this chance nothing comes to fruition?” 

“I will let you go.”

“You have until the Mid-Autumn Festival,” Joshua said with a toss of his head. He walked away.

* * *

Jeonghan had succeeded to Joshua’s shame in that lifetime. He charmed Joshua and made him fall in love. He studied well, making sure to use the courting methods of Joshua’s country. 

He had laid claim to Joshua and Joshua had let him. They married and prospered. One of few lifetimes. 

* * *

Some lifetimes Joshua said no and walked away from him. Other lifetimes Joshua had said yes, in love as he ever was from the first time eons ago. 

In the lifetimes that he said no, Fate worked its magic and Joshua and Jeonghan always met. Joshua would fight, and run away like a coward, hoping to save his heart just the once. But he never won. Every lifetime he had lost. He gave his heart to Jeonghan, fell in love with his persistent but cute ways and felt his heart torn in two at one point. 

Granted there were lifetimes where Joshua fell in love and everything was rosy. Lifetimes where they were happy and stayed happy. Lifetimes where they were together until the end and one of them perished first. 

And here he was again. Right in front of Jeonghan's path and he had given Jeonghan the means to come to him. How stupid. 

"Just the once," he whispered. "It's only one dinner." It would be fine. 

His hands shook as he texted Jeonghan back. It was only going to happen once. One dinner and no more contact with Yoon Jeonghan. He could do this. He could. No matter how much his heart was calling him a liar. 


End file.
